In The Long Run

In The Long Run (1)

It's been six minutes already. I'm just too damn scared to pick that thing up. It's just sitting there, mocking me. I know it's an inanimate object, but it's a maliciously evil inanimate object. I sighed. I might as well get it over with. I'll find out anyway if I just leave it. No one will believe that I picked up that much weight in just a few months and I think they'll get a little freaked out when my breakfast starts kicking.  

I stood up slowly to go and pick it up. My breathing picked up. This never happened before, not even when I'm running in big tournaments. I took it.

Positive.

It fell to the floor and so did I.

HOLY SHIT! I'M PREGNANT!

I swear I'm going to die. Before I lost all consciousness, I picked it up, ran outside and threw it in the trashcan. After I went back inside, I tried getting all my plans and ideas together. I should probably tell Wayne first. Yes! He's directly responsible in the first place. I marched over to the phone and dialed his number so fast, the phone almost burst into flames.  

"Hello?" he answered.  

"We need to talk."  

"O...k... You sound pretty serious. What's up? Everything okay?"  

"No, we really need to talk."  

"Well, I'm at work right now. Can it wait till after five?"  

"Yeah, I guess it'll have to."  

"Great, I'll see you later okay?"  

"Okay."  

"I love you."  

"I - "I hesitated "I love you too."  

He put down the phone. Whoa, that was hard for some reason. I've never doubted whether I loved him or not. This thing really messed with my head. When I put down the phone I felt woozy. This was so surreal. This was the last thing I expected to happen to me. Heck, I never really thought I'd even sleep with a guy so early. My heart was pounding in my chest, or so it sounded, but when the pounding got louder, I turned around and saw my mom coming up the stairs with a basket of laundry.  

"Hey sweetie." She said, but she stopped and took a close look at me. Oh please don't tell me she knows. Not yet. "Are you okay honey? You look a little pale."  

"I - I'm fine." I stuttered like an idiot.  

"You sure? Have you eaten anything yet?"  

"Um, no. I'll go down and get something now." I slipped passed her and down the stairs to the kitchen. I really didn't know how I was going to tell her. The idea of telling Wayne already made me want to hyperventilate.  

I hung around the house for the rest of the afternoon, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't focus on anything else. I jumped up from the couch and started looking for my keys. It was about twenty minutes too early, but I couldn't take it anymore. I just grabbed my jacket and went to Wayne's work.  

He was locking up when I got there, still in his work vest. He looked kind of dorky in it, but I liked it on him. He turned around and looked kind of surprised to see me, but I have to admit, I would be too.

"Um, hey Jamie."

He didn't kiss me or anything. He's been feeling extremely guilty ever since 'that night'. Now that I really think about, I'm kind of starting to regret that night and for some reason, when I saw Wayne I wanted to cry. He didn't look very good either. Me jumping up and turning up twenty minutes early is not a good sign. I'm usually very patient and he knows that.

"I couldn't wait." My voice shook as I said the words. His eyes widened slightly and he took a step closer.

"Jamie, what's going on? You're scaring me."

"I - I . . . "I couldn't speak at all. My voice shook uncontrollably and my eyes burned. He looked me in the eye, but I looked down right away. I knew he was getting more worried by the second.

"Jamie . . ." He didn't say anything else. He just took my hand and said "let's go".

We went to a nearby park and sat on one of the benches in the shade of a tree. It was getting dark and there weren't many people around, which I was really happy about. He looked deep into my eyes and I felt like I was in some kind of teenage soap opera.

"Jamie, what the hell's going on?"

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"I'm pregnant."

He was silent, with nothing but utter shock on his face. I felt the tears well up in my eyes when he didn't respond. Please, oh please, oh please don't leave me. I couldn't lose him.

"I'm - I'm going to be a father?" He looked at me again. He always stutters when he's shocked, excited or scared out of his wits.  

"That's all you're going to say?" I asked, on the brink of tears.  

"I don't really know if I should be excited or worried."  

"Worried, you idiot." I choked out, before I burst into tears. In seconds I was against his chest, his face in my hair. He rubbed my back, but after a few minutes I could've sworn I felt him shake a few times too. After a long 15 minutes, we both pulled away. He was crying. I'd never seen him cry before, except maybe when we were five and he fell out of a tree. Even though his eyes were blood red, he flashed me the smile that made me fall in love with him in the first place. I couldn't smile back. He brought me in closer to him and kissed my forehead.

"We'll get through this."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but I know we'll be fine."

"I hope you're right."  

He kissed my forehead one more time and whispered softly to me.  

"I love you. We'll be fine, I promise."