while you were at the store, getting some snacks to calm your cravings, your phone buzzed in your pocket. pulling it out was calum's contact across the screen requesting for a face time call. as a soft sigh left your lips, your thumb pressed the green button. in seconds, his face was on your screen with a pout.
"hi, you need anything?" you say, looking at what cookies you wanted.
"can you come over? if you're not busy." he said softly, his voice raspy as he poke. you looked at your screen. the silver haired boy looking like he was laying across the couch as he laid his head on his arm.
"uh, yeah sure. ill be there in a bit. is everything okay?" you ask, eyebrows furrowing together. calum shrugged.
"i dunno. i just miss you and wanna talk to someone." he sighed, rubbing his eye and letting out a yawn. you just nodded.
"well im at the store. ill be there in a bit. hang in there." you gave him a small smile, him returning one before saying your goodbyes and hanging up.
•••
when you arrived with snacks in hand, calum answered the door, his stance way taller than you. he looked drained, the usual sparkle in his eye gone, hair messy and still in pajamas.
"i brought you your favorite." you smile, putting a box of oreos in his hand. calum rolled his eyes slightly before wandering back into his house. after shutting the door and setting your things down, you plopped on the couch across from calum. the boy began eating a cookie with a blank stare, groaning before tilting his head back and closing his eyes.
"so whats going on in that little mind of yours?" you ask.
"everything." he responded before shoving another oreo in his mouth. once he finished swallowing, he sat up, facing you and licking his lips before he spoke. "you know about seasonal depression? i think i have that. its just like—certain times of the year i just feel so sad and overthink and just–just get stuck in my mind."
a frown started to appear on his lips. his delicate fingers pulled out another oreo, twisting it open carefully so the creme stayed on just one of the cookies. he ate the part that was plain as played with the other one. "i just—hate myself." calum said softly just above a whisper. the boys eyes flickered quickly to yours before focusing on the oreo again.
"calum..." you frowned.
"its true. i just feel like i'll never find someone who will love me for just being me. every time i talk to a girl or whatever and they find out im famous or i got money i feel like they're only there for that. or just they want a quick fuck—" he stopped talking, letting out a groan again, barring his face in his hands. "this is why i feel like i dont believe in love anymore."
you felt your heart break at calum's words. it made your entire being feel so many things because of how sad the tan boy was, an emotion he should never have to deal with because he was light to others.
slowly, you crawled over, hands coming to hold his face. his eyes looked into your own, dull and lacking life. "calum, im so sorry you feel like this. you shouldn't hate yourself because you're the kindest, sweetest, loving guy i have never met. famous or not, ill love you no matter what, baby boy. whoever can't see that or just want to take advantage should rot in hell." you said softly, looking straight into his soul the entire time. calum's eyes watered a bit but no tears spilled as he quickly blinked them away.
"y/n," he said quietly. "kiss me."
"what?"
"fucking kiss me please."
you blinked at the boy confused. calum rolled his eyes, grabbing your face this time before smashing his lips on your own. you've never kissed calum before because he was your friend but, this feeling—it was something. your stomach did flips and your heart beat in your ears. calum's soft fingers brushed against your cheekbones as his even softer lips moved against yours. he kissed you in such a gentle yet tender way, putting every single drop of love he had in his body to you. in that moment, he realized if he was going to give his heart to anyone, it would be you. it's always been you. and he fucking stupid to not realize it until now.
when the two of you opened your eyes, he brushed some of your hair behind your ear as you looked at one another in disbelief but with smiles creeping on your lips. you pulled calum by his shirt to kiss you again, and he did as you wished. his hands moved to your waist as your own went around his neck, lips molding together perfectly. calum pressed your foreheads together as his hands softly grazed your skin, his breathing soft.
"'m sorry but like—i just, i dont know what came over me, y/n. we dont gotta—"
"shh, calum." you smiled, pointer finger pressing against his mouth to quiet him. "i think i feel the same way."
"really?" he perked up. a small smile coming on his lips. as you looked at his eyes again, you could see the sparkle coming back which made you smile bigger.
"yes." you chuckled, poking his cheek as he pulled you on his lap to hug you. calum held you tight, pressing a delicate kiss to your shoulder.
"good because i think i feel the same way, too."
