The Void I'm A Survivor

Chapter 2

The Funeral

I walk into the church with my good friend at my side who has come along to offer me some moral support. I want to sit at the back of the church un-noticed un-seen but my family are having none of that and say I have to sit in the front pew as I'im immediate family I'im her daugher, I sit alongside my brother and sister heavy hearted. all I can hear around me is the sound of tears being shed I look to my side and both my brother and sister are crying, I'm sat there dry eyed and remember telling myself I must not cry I must stay strong I sit through the service like this listening to others venting there grief and letting there tears flow. I sit there feeling like I want to cry but my eyes stay dry.

Its time for us to follow the coffin out of the church and make our way to the graveyard. We hit the fresh air outside and my body starts to shake and my tears begin to flow I feel my friends hand on my arm offering me support and letting me know she is there I'm greatful for her comfort because I'm feeling very alone.

We arrive at the grave side a vast number of us but not all who attended the church. The coffin is lowered into the grave and my sister, brother and I all have a single red rose to place on our mothers coffin. I'm asked to lay mine first, the roses each have a plastic tube on the end of them that holds water for the rose as i place mine into the grave the plastic tube hits the coffin first and the noise is so loud in such a quiet enviroment, then my brother and sister place theres and prayers are said and its time to leave the grave side. I rememeber my uncle breaks down and can't bare the thought that she has gone.

We attend my auntys pub where the wake is being held and its here that I start to build a fragile relationship with my dad after it has been strained for so many years. I leave the wake early I want some time to myself some time to grieve alone time to let go of my emotions. I'm a private person I do not like displaying my emotions for all to see while at home I cry most of the afternoon.