He thought I was dead

Children come with me

The Seeds they began to trust me making me to be like a pet to them following there moves knowing there plan for me to be leaning on the wall as Joseph preached his words to his people for me to watch him with no feeling in my eyes, he made me apart of his life and still I feel that he is hiding things from me which makes me to so pissed sometimes but I am not his love I am not Hope, I am Mary and I need to help him not develop anything for him at all, "atone for yours sins my children and then Eden's gate will be opened for all of us" Joseph says for me to watch the people who seem so caught up in this that they do not see the big picture at all for me to stand there with little to nothing on my features. After the service a child comes up for me to look at her seeing her looking to me with wonder in her eyes, she then takes out a flower holding it out for me making me to bend down to her level knowing that this war is changing everyone even the children who are so innocent to the crimes on which are being committed, "for you, mother" she says for me to bend down to her knowing I am not the mother of creation I am just a girl that was flushed into this war of men, "daughter you do not need to give me something so beautiful when the beauty of it will look everlasting in your hair" I say to pick the flower out of her fingers putting it in her hair making her to smile at me which I return knowing children are different then adults. It seems the children found light in me wanting to be near me like I am there mother for me to take into care the children knowing the father is watching me with them, hopefully I do not look like I always wished for my daughter to grow like this but it seems her life was cut short. Time passes for me to be sitting out side on the iron chair with the children gathered around on the ground with a bible on my lap, "he told Mary that she was to have a child of the lord and to call that child by the name of Jesus" I say for one of the children to put there hand up making me to smile on that pointing, "yes Luke" I say for him to look around at the children who look to him but his eyes stay on mine who are open and not anyway threatening him to be quiet at all, "Mary why did god want to call his son Jesus?" Luke asks for me to smile on that, "that is a good question Luke, well Jesus means savoir in Hebrew which gave the Jews hope that  there was someone called the king of all Jews" I answer for the children to nod on that. 

Faith came skipping out for the kids to smile liking her childishness, "Mary, the brothers were looking for you" she says for her to wave at the children who wave in return making me to smile at her nodding, "ok Faith" I say closing my bible looking to the children then, "I'll be back everyone" I tell the children who nod on that for me to stand going with Faith making me to walk into the dinning room wishing to turn around seeing my radio on the table and my diary on the table for me to freeze there knowing that is personal why is it sitting there in plain view. Joseph then notices me standing there to look onto me with a glare on his features for me to gulp in my fear walking with Faith to sit beside her wishing to hide under the table then but that would show I am guilty, "I will speak first" Joseph says for me to grip my hands over my bible in my lap with me sweating slightly looking to the ground then, "these were found in your room when the cleaner was cleaning, a radio I suspect is to be used to communicate was the deputy, Nick Rye and your other friends" Joseph hissed for me to sit there holding in my fear to speak right now, "and then she found this" Joseph says to pick up the diary slamming it on the table making me to flinch, "Hope Adams, my wives diary" Joseph says for me to sneak a look at him knowing I have to lie here or I'm dead, "are you Hope?" he says for me to shake my head on that knowing this is playing out in my head, "no I'm her half sister, I found out about her death when I was in England so I came to find her seeing the diary that is all" I say for Joseph to watch me seeing if I'm lying at all, "what of this Mary?" John questions pointing at the radio, "its a belonging of a friend but I do not use it because I do not know on how to use it at all" I answer for them all to look at Joseph seeing the hatred in his vison then, "go to your room" he says to slide the diary over but not the radio and I wish to not anger him so I take my diary leaving for my room making me to lean on the bed post breathing in knowing that was close. Joseph knew something I didn't which made me to be more careful on speaking and even doing anything for me to stay to my room reading the bible or my diary. One afternoon I was washing my hair when I heard my bedroom door open making me to turn the water off getting out and putting my clothes on peaking my head out for someone to grab my neck to have me against the wall in a second making me to look onto the person which is Joseph who presses harder, "you lied" he says for me to go wide eyed on that knowing he is choking me because it is getting harder to breath then. 

He then takes out a knife for him to try and stab me making me to grab the blade in my hands for me to see blood run through my fingers, "please" I beg for him to push the blade making me to close my eyes feeling the blade cutting my flesh then, "tell me" he says for me to let tears run down my cheeks knowing I am seeing black, "god told me" I answer for him to release me then making me to fall to the ground breathing heavily with me shaking slightly never seeing him attacking me at all in my life, "god told you" he says for me to look up at the man I once loved, "I was to die" I say to cough then breathing sitting up getting up to go over to my bedside opening the draw to take the bandages out to patch my wounds up on my hands to sit there wrapping the bandages around the wounds, "I was standing in darkness he told me that I was to leave you for sometime so you could fulfill his plan and that our daughter was in the way so you had to kill her to fulfill your plan" I say to sit there looking to my hands then knowing that having it in the open is making it hard to breath now, "where did you go?" Joseph questions for me to look at him with him standing there then with the knife still in his hand, "I made a name for myself in writing but they were murder mystery's by another name I made up" I answer knowing he is looking to me with wonder that he could never find me at all.