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As I stood on our front-yard walkway the last thing I had in my possession that reminded me of you was my old tattered teddy bear. The one you won for me at our first carnival together, when you miraculously pierced the bulls-eye with those pointy darts.
As I watched the amber flames lick against our home the last thing I had in my mind was your beautiful smile. As I stood there completely helpless of the situation, all I could think of was you, my dearest mother. You will be missed.
The heavy tears of regret cascade down my face as I watch the fire consume our house, sadly a piece of me has burnt away too because I wasn't brave enough to come for you. With each tear, I shed I feel like I am losing more and more of myself. My tears seem to fuel the fire because, with each drop, it burns higher.
I am sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fight for you. I find myself wishing that I was in there with you. Burning away to my death with you. Now I stand outside, like the coward I am, pining for your love as it burns away in front of me. Gripping on to my teddy bear like an anchor. Hoping that somehow the remaining memory of it can hold your beautiful soul down so I could be with you always.
I wish I had the courage to blindly voyage into the flames, the beacon of your love being the only thing drawing me towards you. At least then I would wrap my tiny arms around your waist, and let the warmth of the final love from your heart burn within me. Now I am all alone and my heart will forever be cold. It will forever be a frosty block of ice without the fiery warmth of your love, to melt away the walls of my cold heart. Because a part of me died today and I'll never get it back. No matter how long I pine for your love.
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Shout out to @stellardreams- for the lovely banner.
