What Puberty Made Me Do

In the Name of Love

In the Name of Love

Why am I such an idiot when it comes to the opposite gender? They say women are mysterious, but have you tried to understand a guy? That's a whole other mind field!

You have to know if they are a dick or not. If they are then you have two options:

1. Suck it up and carry on trying to talk to them.

2. Be a dick back to them.

I guess you could just walk away from them too, but where's the fun in that?

If the guy is not a dick, however then the real decisions appear, such as: Is he nice enough for a friendship, or maybe something more? To be honest, I don't even want to go there with that thought because finding out if they also want more than a friendship is a whole other level of confusion.

By the way, spoiler alert: I've never dated. That should be obvious by now with the way I'm writing, but if it isn't then now you know! I mean, primary school doesn't count- it never counts.

Although I've never dated anyone, I'm not a robot. I've had crushes before and am no stranger to that feeling of liking someone and the only time I asked someone out was in primary school, and like I said before: that doesn't count at all and never does it work out anyway. I think we lasted like a few weeks. If that.

After taking the risk of rejection when asking someone out (even at the young ages of 9/10) I decided that 'in the name of love' I wouldn't take another risk like that for a while. And here I am, like 7-ish years later finding myself single like usual and (mostly) pretending it's a treat.

Ha.

Haha.

NO, I'm lying. I do think that being as young as I am, it is most likely that any sort of relationship I form will not last. I lied about choosing to fend off cupid's arrows of love, though because I've basically never had a choice but oh well. It isn't the end of the world; my fall-back plan is to be smothered to death by dogs which -in my opinion- is a pretty glorious way to die.

Teenage boys are weird anyway, am I right? They're way too interested in Game Of Thrones for my liking and talk about the football tables too often for me to take them seriously. I don't have a problem with sport particularly football, I just think there's so much more to talk about than the same. Thing. Over. And. Over. Again.

Also, I'm more of a rugby person anyway...

But what I'm trying to say is I definitely don't need 15 year old boys with their slightly alarming personalities and ability to think of vines faster than me- it's just all too tiring for us teenage girlies to handle at this point, and if you are a teenage girlie who is handling it then I APPLAUDE YOU (please don't have a breakdown!).

I might be acting a teensy bit dramatic, but you get the gist of what I'm thinking. I'm a difficult person to be around sometimes though; I have a loud and obnoxious laugh which I like to show off at any point in a conversation – especially if I'm nervous.

I have a weird brain fart whenever I try to speak, and it always comes out with either a stutter or big pauses which is why nobody – and I mean NOBODY- comes to me for a good story because they will be stood there for years. They will also probably be stood there in silence for 70 percent of the time, too. I'm awkward around new people (especially guys *cough cough* because you guys are way too scary and mysterious).

I do have a few bits in my diary about crushes I had from years ago but please don't ask to see them because they are so cringy and a massively embarrassing 'dark horse' of my whole diary. Honestly, I can't even read them without cringing through my soul and into the future 90 years.