What Puberty Made Me Do

As Clueless as Desmond the Moon Bear

So, I know that careers are probably one of the most stressful topics I could ever talk about hence why I'm here because I love making people's life stressful. Is it working?

Well at the time of writing this I am about to go into my second year of college where I'm doing an art and design course.

"Why did you choose art?" You may ask. "What sort of job do you want?"

And to that I say I DONT HAVE A FREAKING CLUE!! I think when college applications came around when I was ending high school, and I still didn't know what my dream job was -my ultimate career goal- I panicked and chose art; a subject in which I liked and wasn't complete trash at. I figured that by the end of the first year of the course (it's a 2-year course) I would know exactly what I would want to do.

WRONG.

Apparently, God does not want me to know my dreams because the first year of college finished and lil' ol' me was still as clueless as Desmond The Moon Bear (ASDF reference; look it up kids ;))

This really does make me panic, because if I don't know my dream job, how am I supposed to make goals and shit? How will I ever know if I'm in the right job or not? Why does this have to be so stressful anyway? I genuinely felt my happiness was on the line, and I had no idea how to find this 'dream job' of mine.

I have a job working with exotic animals and telling kids all about them, and I enjoyed it, but it didn't feel like the 'dream' picture I had imagined I would feel. It's only recently (literally like a few weeks ago) where I was on holiday in wales and we went to a zoo on a mountain and I don't know what happened or shy it was this particular trip that triggered my emotions but it did and I felt at home.

I found myself imagining myself working at the zoo all day. We would walk past the penguins and id think "wow imagine if I did that- it would be amazing" and it just clicked.

Zookeeping.

When we got home after that zoo trip I talked to my brother about it all and I asked for advice since he also has a dream career (which will definitely come true for him- he's gifted; I can tell) with animals and since he's older and has known his dream job since a young age, we talked about how I would get the qualifications to be a zookeeper and did some quick and brief research. I was excited - ridiculously excited. For the first time in a long time I wasn't stressed about my future, because there was an objective - a goal! AT LAST! I could have screamed with happiness.

I find it funny at the circumstances I was in: I thought so hard about what my career could be, where it would be, that when I wasn't thinking about it and was just enjoying my holiday, I stumbled across it! How weird!

Since then I have been doing some research on how to get to be a zookeeper and there's a lot of options. I'm starting to stress at the options of how to get there now, it never ends! UGH. And I'm wondering again, is it the right choice? Because in the UK the average starting zookeeper's yearly wage is 12k-16k. I won't be able to afford much with that!

I hope and pray I can work my way up to be an experienced zookeeper or a head keeper because they get a bit more of a salary. I can work my butt off, I'll do anything, especially since it's my dream job. I can get by, right? Somehow.

I WILL FIND A WAY, just you watch!

Moral of the story (or should I say chapter):

I've come to realise that there's a difference after all between hobbies and dream jobs and I couldn't see it before, but I can see it now. And it makes all the difference.

And I'm sure as hell excited to figure out this new chapter of my life. I definitely know how it felt to be clueless, and I hope that most people are luckier than me and know what they want out of life and are either on their way to their dream, or they're already there.

What's your dream? Do you even know your dream yet or are you like I was: a little clueless and a hell of a lot stressed about it?

Seriously, don't worry as much as I did. You'll get there when you get there and it can't be a feeling that's forced. There's plenty of good jobs out there to do in the meantime!

A/N: Sorry it's been so long, I know you have probably lost interest by now in this book and i really don't blame you, but I've basically been stuck in a cycle that didn't include Wattpad, and i decided for now, I would at least try and write something even if its just something small... And here I am :)