The Secret of Moonacre - SECRECY

Chapter 35

"Excuse me?" I was truely hurt by his words.

"You heard me"

"You know, I think I prefered you when you were ill" I attempted at making a joke to break his mood but it was no use.

"Maria, why can't you just trust me? I just want to be alone"

"You want to know why I can't trust you Robin? You went out behind my back, talk to Alex about leaving me, drink till you almost pass out, talk to another girl who I have no idea who she is and are down right rude to me. After all I did for you Robin, I could have let you die. What was that about what you said to me months ago? 'You would rather die than be without me' So because I didn't let you go, you want to leave. You know what Robin? I am going to leave you and you can't have that satisfaction of watching me break, because I am not going to. I will watch you, because you can't go on without me and you know that" I regretted everything I said and I couldn't take it back. Tears caught on to my eyes and I ran out of the room. I heard the faint smashing of geranium pots as I rushed down the wooden stairs and I tried to shut the noise out. It was Loveday and Uncle again.

Maybe I should have let him explain.

No, I shouldn't. He didn't know what he was talking about and I had a witness as to what he did with Alex.

This time I was running. I couldn't stay at the castle anymore. It held too many bad memories for me.

My little white horse was outside the door and I jumped on, not bothering to think of anything else but getting to where I wanted to go. We didn't gallop through the trees or fields, but instead took our time along the trails. It must have been around midnight by then as the moon was risen high in the sky, spreading light through the valley. Did I really expect Robin and I to last forever? He fed me lies about marriage and a future together. I wasted a lot of time when I could have been with someone who really did want to have a future with me. Someone... someone like Jessie. The thought of him pained me and tears did start to fall from my eyes. If Robin hadn't have gotten in the way we could have been happy together and he may aswell still be alive. But did I really mean that? I did love Robin, I really did and my side wasn't a lie. He'd always been there for me, he'd rescued me or found me more times than I could count and we'd always found a way back to each other one way or another. I just hoped that was the case now. Robin might not be able to live without me but I wouldn't be able to live without him either.

We were soon outside my real home which had tools littered around the outside and bits of loose brick and house which the mare carefully avoided. She stopped just outside the front door and I dismounted and patted her neck, then fled up the steps into the manor. It had been a while since I was last there. The furniture had white cloth draped over it and most was dusty. The grand staircase was all chipped and had a ladder running up along the side. I hadn't realised what a mess it had been.

I began to get hungry and I hoped there would be something in the kitchens for me to eat. The wing leading down to the kitchens was in a terrible state, with posts holding up the ceiling and numerous holes in the floor boards which I carefully stepped over. I was almost at the end of the corridor when suddenly there was a loud crash behind me and the posts came crumbling down creating a tidal wave of dust causing me to almost choke. I took a step backwards, but the flooring beneath my feet crumbled and I fell down into the cellar. I fell with a crash and numerous posts and bricks fell down beside me and one fell on to my arm, making it jammed underneath. I screamed and attempted at moving the brick but it was too heavy.

"Help! Somebody help me!" I called. I squeezed my eyes shut at the sight of my arm which was swelling up and had blood oozing out. How could I have been so stupid to forget that Uncle told me that the manor wasn't safe.