Hero

S.O.S

!!!Trigger Warning: I know there were a few triggering things already but this section deals with abusive, suicide, etc. I'll inform you when the trigger warning is over!!!

3 days. 72 hours. That's how long I was gone. My mother thought that I needed to be taught a lesson and gave me 5 lashes for every hour I was gone. Luckily I passed out after the 100th lash. From the pain or the blood loss. Who knows, it could've been both. It's only gotten worse now. Every day, even Fridays, for the past month, my mother has been in charge of my training. Every day I have to wake up at three even though I get home at midnight or later. She doesn't let me stop training till 6:30 or I mess up and she needs to teach me a lesson. I haven't been able to walk correctly since I got home. For the first time since I turned sixteen, two gang members got away from me.

Maya and Leo are still working on their fighting skills but I've been pushing them away. I haven't seen them in a week or two because I've been ignoring their calls. Simon and I only see each other in school. He has skipped work almost every day to hang out with Rowan. Once he admitted they were dating, I knew I wouldn't see Simon as often. I understand why he's hanging out with her instead. I just hope he's happy. I haven't even seen Charlie or Elijah lately. They have this big event to set up for at their school. They had to go since they were the top two students in the entire school. Charlie and I never even got the chance to talk about the kiss.

She probably hated it. Helen, the voice in my head, told me. Shut up, Helen. You didn't see how it happened they are meant to be. Jeremiah, the other voice in my head, sassily snapped back. Even though they are voices inside my head, I'm pretty sure they have some sort of chemistry. They are like the friends who also bicker but end up making out in the end. Though it can be very annoying having constant arguing in my head. That's why I'm back to my park with my water bottle. Inside the water bottle was 30 shots of vodka and dr pepper. You weren't there either! Plus if it was good, Charlie would be here. Emma hasn't seen her in almost a month. She hasn't even gotten a text from her! Helen pointed out. I slowly nodded my head agreeing with her. Just cause she's busy doesn't mean she doesn't like Emma. Right, Frank? Jeremiah asks.

Frank, who was sitting beside me, just stared at me and shrugged. Frank is the hallucination with many words. See he agrees with me. No one likes her enough to stay. She's worthless. I chugged half my bottle down and ignored them. I knew it was impossible to do since they were in my head. At least Frank was quiet. Why couldn't Frank be my only hallucination? I'd be fine with that. No, she isn't. You are just being an arse. Jeremiah told her.

I chugged down the rest of the alcohol burning my throat in the process. Jeremiah and Helen were arguing and I wanted them to shut up. I wanted everything to just stop for a second so I could recollect myself. Everything was spiralling out of control so quickly I couldn't prepare myself. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom, I end up falling more. I wanted everything to stop. I wanted to get so drunk I'd pass out but that wouldn't help because eventually, I'd wake up.

Right now it was only 11:45. So, no one should be home. I ran as fast as I could to my house, only running into a few bushes and one pole, and straight to my room. I grabbed my gun that I kept on my dresser and stared at it. I never liked using guns even though I had an amazing aim. I always liked knives more.

Quit stalling. Helen commanded. You know you want to do it. It's the only way.

She won't do it. She's weak. I looked up from the gun to see my mother staring at me. Great even when she isn't here, she still judges me. You are so useless. You know that? I bet you'll fail at this like everything else. I mean you did last time and the time before that. You'll never succeed at anything in life. She informed me.