I'm F.I.N.E.

The Beginning

I made a revised version of the first chapter, you can find it on my profile!!!

Okay, so just so all of you know what to expect, this story involves self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts (maybe attempts as well), and anorexia. (25)

America's pov:

I walked to school. My family drove, but I always walked, I had to loose weight, so I walked the three miles it takes to get to hell- I mean school. 

Now you may ask, "But, America, you have tons of friends, and you're loved, and you're happy at school! Why would you call it hell?" Well, I'll tell you. School is where I see all the people that I don't wanna see. Though some of them are fine, most of them scare me, and I'd rather stay away from them. It's where I have to pretend to be okay, and smile, and laugh, and cover my eyes, so people can't see the tears that randomly come out at times. Most of all, it's where I have to pretend I don't care what people think of me, what I think of me. I have to just walk away from people when their down, in order to keep a reputation. Did I mention I have to pretend I'm straight? I'm not, but I'm dating Japan, because again, reputation. 

I have to bully people, so that I'm perceived as a popular guy. Like Russia for example, he's my main target. I like him a lot though, I wish he didn't hate me... But we have to hate each other, or my feelings would show, and I don't want that. I mostly annoy him. It's a daring move really, because he's seen as dangerous, and because of this, I'm the only one who messes with him. I all actuality I (with the exception of his siblings) am the only person who really talks to him at all...

As I neared the school I plastered on a happy face, and ran up to my friends.

"Hey guys!" I exclaimed with a fake smile that honestly seemed real.

"Hey Mari!" Canada replied, and we all began to walk to the school building.

Japan ran up to me with a smile on her face.

"So, America-Senpai? Wouldn't it be nice if we could hang out after school... alone?" She asked.

I inwardly sighed, bout outwardly said, "Sure! That sounds great."

Once we had entered the school I waved my friends goodbye, and walked to my locker. I put in the combination, and opened it, not noticing someone leaning up against it as I did.

I grabbed my notebooks, and my folder I put all my homework in, and then shoved everything else, including my backpack, into the small, narrow space. Then someone spoke up.

"Hey, America-Senpai." It was Japan.

"Hi," I replied.

"Wanna walk me to Science class?" She asked, and I nodded.

We walked together, and while I didn't really want to talk much, I did.

As I talked to her I silently waved to random people I knew. She would laugh at my jokes, and reply to my questions. Though I already knew the answer to all of them, I knew she liked to be questioned (for some strange reason, I have no idea).

"Oh, America-Senpai, I heard about this huge party that's happening on Friday. You wanna come?" She asked.

I inwardly gulped, I hated parties,but as far as she knew I loved them. So instead of saying "no" I said, "Sure! That's a great idea!"

She smiled to me, and I smiled back.

Once we had made it to Science class we sat in our seats. She sat with her personal friends, and I sat next to an empty chair. It hadn't occurred to me that Russia was the only one not there yet, and that empty seat next to me was the only one left.