Spoken Visions

Dear Mama

I awake in the morning and I'm unable to breath

I'm lacking the love that is essential to put my soul at ease,

I am a motherless child emotionally.

I came so close to living my dream,

But it was interrupted by selfish schemes.

Blood is family, family is blood

But whatever happened to love is love?

What happened to hugs just because?

And what happened to a tender mothers touch?

You bring in a child to raise and let go,

And pray that they will keep your legacy going on.

Not to keep strained by chains to doors

That could lead them the way to success and joy.

Instead of controlling, you should be setting free.

Nothing good comes from you holding on to me.

I should be out spreading the wings that you taught me to fly,

But instead I'm stuck between leaving, staying, and why.

Was it the guilt for sins you smelled on my breath?

Or was it the pain you carried after my father left?

But for Christ sake, he left you, with me he stayed,

Yet you were determined to stop that in every sense and way.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being punished for your mistakes,

Or if you were protecting me from something, I can't quite say.

You think my mind is filled with bitches and hoes,

But I promise this brain is filled with dreams and hopes.

I'm losing my mind trying to figure out yours,

It's like you hold on so tight that I have to let go.

I'm not perfect, and neither are you,

And until you see that you'll never make it through

Life

You'll never be a wife,

And all of your blessings will be voided on sight.

You my beautiful mother will never see the the light.

Unless

You choose today

To change your ways,

And decide you want life.

Not to just live, but to actually feel alive.

Why don't you make a deal with me?

Let me help you heal mentally.

Or do we agree to disagree?

And continue to live our lives separately.

The only reason I left was to teach you a lesson

See that was never apart of the plan originally.

But the only way you see is your way, no compromise

How can a woman like that pray to the skies?

Then turn around and look her children in the eyes

And continue to feed them more lies?

Maybe one day you can explain.

If I'm lucky maybe one day I'll call and you'll be sane.

Maybe then you'll apologize and it won't be in vain.

Until then I guess all I can say

Is goodbye.