The Unexpected Heartache

chapter four

y/n perspective
I remember the day when I was in seventh grade and I asked my crush if he would go out with me. I remember the way it felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces. I remember the way he said no and all his friends laughed while tears streamed down my face. I remember the feeling of rejection. I never want anyone to have to feel rejection after what I felt when I was thirteen. I can't say no to Shawn, that rejection will hurt him the way it hurt me. He is cheating on me anyways so why is he asking me to be his girlfriend? "Shawn I'm sorry but I feel like it's too soon. I have feeling towards you but I just want to be certain before stepping into a relationship" I look at him and watch his eyes water a little more with each word I say. I just broke his heart. Shawn turns around and wipes his eyes, trying to hide the fact he is crying. "I understand" he says and fakes a smile which still shows the pain he's feeling right now through it. What did I just do? I promised myself when I was younger that I would always make sure no one ever had to feel rejection again if I could stop it and I just broke that promise within five seconds. I broke that promise and Shawn's heart. There has been silence for over a minute now until shawn took my hand and pulled me onto the ice acting like everything was fine and like he wasn't upset. We skated for around two hours and every minute seemed to feel more and more awkward than the last. As we skated I look at all the roses and balloons he put up and before I know it I find myself crying also. Shawn only laughed once this entire time which is not the normal Shawn. "Do you want me to stay over at yours tonight?" I ask shawn trying to break another awkward silence. "Yeh, I would like that if it's okay?" He replied back finally smiling after what feels like years. He is so precious. I've been so caught up in my feelings I forgot that Shawn is cheating on me with that Amy girl. I planned on taking his phone and checking the messages but I feel too bad. On the way home Shawn started to seem a little happier knowing I was spending the night but you could tell her was still upset and wasn't acting like he usually does. He sang along to the radio on the way home and every time I hear his voice I start to feel more and more safe. When we arrived back to his condo we watched Harry Potter because I've never watched it and Shawn told me the other night he loves it. We cuddled for what stemmed like a few seconds when I'm with him but was actually hours. What did I do? I lost the best thing in my life without realising.

Shawn's perspective
That moment in your life when you know you need to stay strong but you can't. That feeling where it feels like your whole world is being crushed and you'll never be happy again. That's what I feel right now. The person I thought I was going to spend my life with just said no to being my girlfriend. I lost my everything. Earlier when y/n went to the bathroom I called my manager to tell him I need to cancel my upcoming meetings, interviews and the first month of tour. He argued with me for a while but when I told him that I'm not happy he straight away understood and did as I asked. After everything was cancelled I went on twitter and saw all the tweets asking who hurt me and what's wrong but I am honestly just not in the mood to reply to any right now. I tweeted a sorry to everyone and my phone automatically started blowing up with the news spreading fake new saying I was depressed and stuff, that's honestly the only reason I hate being famous. When y/n said she would stay at mine another night I felt instantly happier that she's showing she still wants to be around me just not ready to be in a relationship yet. After we watched Harry Potter I was honestly so worn out for the day I went to bed. Y/n wanted to watch another Harry Potter so she stayed up and stayed in the living room. I was about to go to sleep when all of a sudden I felt like I needed to check my phone. I opened my phone and went on Instagram and saw an amazing drawing one of my fans did. I then checked twitter and after I read this tweet my heart stopped beating. It was a photo of y/n and me laughing as we left ice skating. We are holding hands and we look more like a couple than an actual couple. The tweet was tweeted by the news and everything was blowing up. I started scrolling through the comments and so many people were being so negative to y/n. The caption of the tweet was 'Pop sensation Shawn Mendes has cancelled all meetings, interviews and over 20 shows on tour after being spotted with a girl yesterday in Toronto Canada' I can't believe I was so fucking stupid. I never even thought about paparazzi seeing me and y/n. I've ruined everything we could've become. All it takes now is someone to find y/n account name and we are finished forever. I search up y/n twitter and make sure not to follow her or like anything so no one find her account. As soon as I search up her account I notice she tweeted a minute ago saying she fucked up and ruined the best thing in her life. My heart starts racing faster than before which I didn't think was possible. Does she mean me? Was I the best thing in her life? What if tomorrow she wants to be together and than I ruin the best thing in my life. I put my phone down and try to get to sleep but my thoughts are racing and before I know it, I've been laying here for hours and it's already four in the morning. I turn around expecting to see y/n but she isn't here. I start to freak out thinking that she has left because she doesn't want to be with me. I walk into the living room to find her asleep on the couch. She is so beautiful. I pick up her phone off the floor so when she wakes up she doesn't stand on it or anything. When I pick up her phone it lights up with a text notification which makes my hope come back. 'Tell Shawn everything, he is the best thing in your life it seems and you can't let him go. See you soon angel' the text read which was sent by a person titled bff💗. She has told her friends about me and obviously regrets saying no to me earlier. Im still scared that someone is going to find y/n username before I get time to tell her because I know how good my fans are at finding stuff like that. Finally I feel like I can calm down so I go back to the bedroom and fall straight to sleep this time.

y/n perspective
I wake up again in a house that is starting to feel like home to me. I must of accidentally fell asleep on the couch last night while I was watching Harry Potter. I grab my phone and see a text from my best friend Lily which was sent at four this morning. I read the text and start to feel sick to my stomach and before I know it my eyes start stinging and I know the tears are about to fall. The text says 'Tell Shawn everything, he is the best thing in your life it seems and you can't let him go. See you soon angel' she hasn't even met him but she already thinks he is the best thing in my life as well. I go on Instagram and have a lot of new followers but I don't care because I don't post any photos. I take a photo of the view from the living room and post it on my story. I was about to text Lily when Shawn walks in the room giving me a big smile. He has two coffees in his hand and gives me the one with ice which I automatically know is a almond milk iced coffee. "How did you sleep gorgeous?" Shawn ask before taking a sip of his coffee then screwing up his face. "Not enough sugar?" I ask laughing while he nods his head. At that moment I remembered what it was about Shawn I loved so much. It was the way that no matter what mood I was in he could always get a laugh out of me and make me feel better even if it was just for a second. Lily is right, he is my everything. "Shawn i need to tell you something" I say starting to to feel the nerves kick in. "You can ask me anything angel" he says a little confused. "This is a long story and it's hard to explain but please try your best to follow along okay?" I say while he reaches for my hand and intertwines our hands to comfort me. "The moment you told me you felt a connection I finally knew I found the person for me. The way we got drunk that night and laughed so hard while we told each other our most embarrassing stories and every time you would respond with "that dress looks so good on you" and I would laugh so hard I snorted. I knew that we were more than just a random one night stand. As we got to know each other better I fell in love with you. That day you told me you loved me and thought you were saying it too quick but in reality I loved you too but was too nervous. I was too nervous because I know you're cheating on me Shawn, that's why I'm so confused. That's why I said no to being your girlfriend." I say and It feels like a weight is lifted off my chest as I let out all my emotions. I look at Shawn who looks at me confused, like he didn't understand one thing I just said.

Shawn's perspective
"Y/n I never cheated on you, what are you talking about?" I say while I keep looking at y/n confused. "With Amy, you messaged her in the car that night when we looked at the stars and you told one of your friends on the phone to tell Amy you loved her nudes she sent you as well as you needed them to tell her you loved her" I look at y/n who has the most serious face on and laugh. "What is so funny about cheating on me Shawn?" she asks again with anger in her voice. "I didn't cheat on you y/n, the person I texted was my manager Andrew who-" I say before being cut off by y/n. "Why do you have a manager?" She asks confused. Oh fuck. I just stuffed everything up. Y/n checks her phone and whispers something to herself which I can't hear. "Also I'm going to need you to explain why this person on Instagram called 'Shawn.Mendes.biggest.fan" just followed me" she says while turning her phone around so I can see. Fuck.