The Unexpected Heartache

chapter five

y/n perspective
I feel in love with a boy who I meant nothing to when I was in seventh grade and I told myself to never make the same mistake. I just made the same mistake. I feel for a boy who has the most beautiful brown eyes, you look into them and you fall more in love every time. I fell in love with a boy who has the most beautiful and reassuring voice ever, it makes you feel safe every time you feel uncomfortable. I fell in love with a boy who has a heart of gold and a personality that is everything every girl ever wishes for in a boy. I fell in love with perfection. I fell in love with a boy who is perfectly wrong for me. The pain I felt in seventh grade is nothing like the pain I feel now. This pain is so unbearable it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I let down my walls for a boy who intended to crush them down anyway. I stand up and all the tears fall out, Shawns white jumper now stained with tears. I walk to the bedroom and pick up everything that is mine and shove it into my handbag. I pack everything and get ready to walk to the door. "Y/n please don't leave I'm begging you, please fucking stay. I need you and I can't live without you. I know I'm a total fuck up but I can't fuck up what we had. I can explain everything if you please just stay. I will give up everything to be with you, I can't live without you." Shawn sobs and every word you can hear his heart breaking more and more. I don't care about anything he just said, I know it's fake. I am about to open the door but shawn practically screams out to me. "Y/N PLEASE JUST FUCKING LET ME EXPLAIN, I KNOW I FUCKED UP BUT" every word he gets louder and louder. "But what shawn? Tell me" I scream back to him so sad and annoyed. I watch Shawn's eyes get sadder and sadder as he realises everything is over. I turn around and am about to close the door when Shawn says something that changed everything "I love you y/n, I fucking love you and you are the only person I've ever said that to besides my tour family and my actual family. You mean everything to me" and all of a sudden it feels like my heart is being glued back together, like all the stories you used to read about having hope finally is paying off. I turn around and see Shawn crying more than before and I feel myself cry more and more. "You.. you actually... lo.. love me?" I say scared of the response, what if it's rejection. "Yes y/n, more than anything. You make me happy when everything in my life is crumbling down." He says while showing me his beautiful smile. "I love you too Shawn, this doesn't mean everything is okay I just want to hear what you have to say so please explain everything to me" I say while sitting on the lounge and patting the seat next to me, signalling Shawn to sit there. Let's see what Shawn has to say about everything. Part of me knows I should've left but the other part told me it was worth while staying, hearing Shawn's point.

Shawn's perspective
"The day we met, I had been suffering with really bad anxiety attacks. I remember my friend had to basically bribe me to go to the party. I got there and everything started coming back, the symptoms of another start of an anxiety attack. It would've been my fifth one that day and I knew I had to calm down before I get too stressed. I knew that drinks always calm me down so I planned on going over to the bar and getting a drink but when I looked over there I saw something that put even more butterflies in my stomach. I saw you. I looked at you and straight away felt a connection that I've never felt before. I don't remember a lot from that night but I remember just looking at you and realising you were everything I wanted. I remember walking up to you and I basically stuttered every word but it made you laugh. Since that moment I looked at you I knew there was something about you. The way we laughed for hours and I trusted you with everything after a few hours. When you agreed to coming back to mine even though I was drunk I still remember getting butterflies all over again. You're my everything y/n and I can't let you leave and I never will. That night when I got a text from my manager Andrew it was him telling me I needed to be at a meeting the next day regarding my tour. My world tour where I will sing to millions of people. I'm sorry I was too scared to tell you everything, I just know that sometimes when you tell people you're a famous singer they'll only see you for your money and fame. I never thought you would be like that but I was still scared. I'm Shawn Peter Raul Mendes and I'm a famous singer. I'm 20 years old and I have released three albums which all went to number three. This will be my third sold out world tour. I'm in love with you y/n and I'm not going to let anyone change that." I say to y/n and see her eyes brighten more and more each second. "That was everything I've ever needed to hear and more" y/n says while smiling. I feel my heart racing faster than ever and my heart genuienly feels like it's being put back together knowing y/n still has hope for this relationship. I wait for y/n to respond and I just hope she chooses to stay because I don't know what to do with out her. I love her and I don't want to have to let go of the best thing in my life. "Shawn, I love you so much and I'm so sorry for assuming things. Please never feel like you have to hide things from me again babe. I am staying but I need you to know that if you hurt me again I have no choice but to leave." y/n says and suddenly I feel my eyes stinging again and everything becomes blurry before more tears escape my eyes. I remember when I was younger my Dad once told me 'if someone chooses to stay with you after you hurt them it means they really love you, think about it they're choosing pain over pleasure.' I think that really shows the type of person y/n is exactly. She is the type of girl who is always happy but in reality is a ball of emotions which reflect each bit of her. She is the most unique girl I've ever met. "Also, I would love to be your girlfriend" y/n says while wrapping her arms around me and smiling. "Can I make you my wife instead?" I say laughing, I can't wait for the day I do marry her. "Maybe handsome, maybe" she says while playfully slapping my chest. "Can I come on tour with you?" y/n asks making my heart skip a beat. This is everything I've ever wanted. "I would love for you to" I tell her before connecting our lips. "Only problem is, I may have canceled the first month of tour and all my meetings and interviews when I thought I had lost you" I say laughing. Y/n's cheeks go bright red and she smiles so wide. "You really did that all for me?" She asks in the cutest voice. "Of course, you are my everything" I say as I lay my head on my beautiful girlfriends chest while she plays with my hair, twirling my curls.

Y/n perspective
"Shawn I need you to know that I'm not an expert at relationships. I don't know how to handle every fight we're going to have, and I will never be the perfect person. We're both still young, and we both still have a lot to learn.  But I'm willing to take chances, to risk all, and to learn everything there is to know just to keep us together. I won't give up on you." I say as tears fill up my eyes. Right now I'm just a ball of emotions and this is the best thing in my life but also the scariest thing in my life. "You are so beautiful. I'm not going to give up on you either y/n. We will figure everything out as we go. I love you" Shawn says back also in tears but happy ones. "Can you please reschedule all your meetings and interviews and of course the first month of tour!?!" I laugh at Shawn while I play with his hair. "Only if you come with me?" Shawns says back while doing his cute face. "Okay deal but you have to let me live here" I say as a joke but Shawn takes it seriously and gets excited by basically shouting "of course yes omg I want you to live here with me." He is so cute, maybe I actually will live here. "Okay, can we take a trip to mine and go pack all my stuff up so I can move" I say before giving him a quick peck on the cheeks. I love this boy. We get in Shawn's Jeep and make our way to my house. We were listening to the radio when this song I love called "In My Blood" came on the radio. "Omg it up please Shawn, I love this song. This boy has such an amazing voice." I say to him while tapping my foot to the beat. Shawn does as I says and gives me the biggest smile ever. "Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can't, IT ISN'T IN MY BLOOD" I sing at the top of my lungs. Shawn laughs at me but continues to admire me. "You really like this song eh?" He asks while placing his hand on my thigh. "More than anything" I reply back. He smiles and laughs again but I don't get what's so funny. In My Blood finishes and the radio do their about that artist bit, that's when I understand everything. "Okay that was 'In My Blood' by 20 year old pop sensation Shawn Mendes." The young girl on the radio says. "Wait that's your song?" I ask Shawn so excited. "It is, I'm glad you like it angel" he says back before stopping the car because we arrived at mine. I thought Shawn was just an average singer, I didn't know he was the singer of In My Blood. I feel like I've just fallen for him all over again. We pack all my stuff and head back to our Condo.

Shawn's perspective
(The next morning)
today I have an interview at the radio station a few blocks down from my condo. Y/n will be coming and I'm so excited. I'm a little scared to share y/n to my fans but I know they'll be supportive. (at the radio station) "Okay in the studio today we have Shawn Mendes, thanks for coming in today" the young female radio host says. "Hey, thanks for having me." I say back while watching y/n smiling in the corner of the room. "Okay Shawn so before I ask you anything else, we are all dying to know who is this mystery girl you were seen with yesterday? Whoever she is, she is absolutely gorgeous!" The radio says with excitement in her voice. "Haha yes she is, her name is y/n and she is my girlfriend. She is everything I've ever dreamed of and more. I'm so in love with her it's not funny." I say feeling the butterflies in my stomach come back after just thinking about her. "Did everyone hear that, Shawn Mendes is not single anymore ladies and gents. How did you guys meet and how long have you been dating for?" The girl says with so much excitement it's almost scary. "I met this perfect girl at a party, I saw her and something told me to go over to her so I did. It was almost like a connection from the moment I saw her. We have been dating for one day haha" I feel myself get happier and happier each second knowing y/n is mine and mine only. "That is so cute, now we've just checked the comments on our podcast so far and you might want to have a look" the girl says but this time with no excitement in her voice. She hands me the phone and I feel my heart break. These comments are all so negative like 'y/n is a ugly bitch face who hurt Shawn so bad she made him cancel the first month of tour. She deserves to die' I look over at y/n who is in tears and starts running away. What have I done, why did I announce all that without asking y/n. I ring y/n who surprisingly picks up. "Y/n please, I know I fucked up but I can't lose you." I say crying more than last night. "Shawn just fuck off, you have ruined my life." She says and I feel my heart break. There's no us anymore. I've lost this girl.