The Unexpected Heartache

chapter six

shawn perspective
I have lost my everything. I have lost my smile, my happiness, my reason to wake up each day, my life, my future. I lost the better half of me. I have been calling y/n non stop now and I don't think she is going to pick up ever again. Broken is a way to describe me right now. Heart broken, broken heart. I grab my phone and see a girl I knew back in school calling me, her name is Katy and we never officially dated but we always were super close to it. I answer it and she tells me how she wants to see me. I know right now I'm a mess but it would be good to take my mind or everything for a bit, even a minute. I tell her yes and start making my way to the condo because I told her I couldn't be seen out in public right now due to everything that's happening. When I get there i open the condo door to see Katy standing in a tight red lingerie bodysuit which sits on her body perfect. I'm not going to lie, she looks hot. "Hello Mr. Mendes" she says while walking over to me and placing a hand on my cheek. I know it's wrong to do anything with Katy right now but y/n has showed me that I need to move on. "Jump" I whisper in Katy's ear whole kissing down her neck. She jumps and wraps her legs around my body and I walk her to the bedroom which holds so many of y/n and my memories. Suddenly all the sick feelings come back and I know I need to tell Katy to leave and I need to start going to find y/n wherever she is. I know that's what I need to say but what came out my mouth was different. "This is what I want, I want you" I said while thinking about how wrong everything I'm doing is. Before I know it, y/n isn't the last person I fucked and it's now Katy. What have I done, how am I going to explain this all to y/n if she ever comes back to me. I won't, I will keep this a secret and make sure Katy is out of here within the next ten minutes.

y/n perspective
I let down my walls and got them crushed once so I gave him a second chance only to have the same thing done again. I trusted a boy who's only intentions were to break my heart. I am so weak, young and stupid. Love is so crazy, it makes you a different person. I would never be saying all these things if I didn't meet Shawn. Love is a roller coaster and in the end you are so happy you went on that journey even though you were terrified at first. Shawn hasn't stopped calling me since I ran out and for some reason I feel bad. In reality it wasn't even Shawns fault, he just wanted to tell everyone about me and announce to the world that I am his. Did he really do me wrong or was it his haters? I pick up my bag and wipe away my tears before putting my shoes back on, walking out of the park and back onto the loud streets. You forget about your loneliness when you walk the streets of Toronto, you feel a little more complete with every sound you hear. At least that's what I use to feel. Now with every sound I hear I feel a little more complete but still incomplete without Shawn. I am nearly at Shawn and I's condo and all the feelings and flashbacks come back. "So um I couldn't help but notice you from over there, you're really pretty and I was wondering if we could have a drink?" echoes through my brain from the day we met. My stomach turns and all the butterflies come back. Before the interview, Shawn said he was nervous so I told him that it's okay to be nervous, nerves mean you care. I don't think I realised in the moment how accurate that is, it's the only thing making me feel a little more calm right now. I open the lobby door and walk to the reception who instantly recognise me and give me a quick smile. I walk over to the elevator and press floor 19 about six times because I'm losing my patience. The elevator doors open and all the nerves take over my whole body. I know you probably don't understand how do I know Shawn is even at our condo if I haven't called him, well he told me once that he always goes to his condo when something on social media happens so I know he's here. The elevator beeps and the doors open revealing the condo door. I walk over to the door and don't see Shawn anywhere so far. I check the kitchen but still no sign of him, I check the bathroom but he still is missing. I was about to leave the condo when all of a sudden I hear him cough. I'm so stupid, I forgot to go to the bedroom. I walk to the bedroom which holds so many of my favourite memories. I open the door and feel my heart literally fall into a billion pieces, screams echo the building and my mouth is open wider than her legs. Yep, Shawn is fucking another girl in our bed where we held some of our most important memories. Screams echo the bedroom as they see me and Shawn looks at me with fury, sadness and fire in his eyes. He knows that he has defiantly lost me now. I slam the door shut and feel every bit of sadness there is to feel in one hit. I feel every bit of anger there is to feel in one hit.  If you could bottle tear drops, there would be swimming pools filled by me. The condo floor now basically flooded in my tears. What is love and will I ever find it. What is happiness and will it ever come back to me. Do we really get what we deserve, if so what did I do wrong to deserve this amount of pain? I try and pick myself up but how do you do so when you're in a billion pieces. You don't.

Shawn's perspective
I pull on pants as quickly as I can and run after y/n through all the wet patches on the floor which I presume to be y/n's tears. I am the most awful person on this planet. I always told myself that my intentions were so unbelievably pure and Innocent but were they really if everyday I made the girl of my dreams cry. There was that tiny piece of hope last time but now, now I know that there is no absolute chance y/n will ever be coming back. I have lost my bestfriend, my soulmate, my laugh, my everything. When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?" That's what I think at least. I get on Instagram and see y/n has posted a photo and my fans are being so nice to her. I post a photo and feel my heart shatter another ten times. I text y/n how much I miss her and all of a sudden she starts typing back for once. Maybe this isn't the end, maybe this is just the start.