It Was Always You

Joel

I woke up the next morning but couldn't move out of bed. I can't believe I saw her my Nicole, yes she is mine I don't give a fuck about the cocksucker she's with now she belongs to me. Somehow I always end up fucking things up, why the hell did I open my mouth about the breakup, if the truth ever came out it would ruin my sister's life.

"Bro you up yet?" I heard benji calling from outside. "Ya man im in my room come in." I still couldn't bring myself to get up because of how numb I felt.

"Hey man you look like shit, you good?" the truth was I would never be good until I had my girl back in my life for good.

"Ya i'm fine stop bitching." I got up and walked to the bathroom so I can splash water on my face, maybe that would help me feel a little more alive at the moment.

"Joel please tell me you fucked that girl from last night, she was fine as fuck man." What the hell was he talking about?.

"What girl Benj?" I asked looking confused.

"The girl with the black dress I came out to have a smoke last night and I saw you talking to her, bro her ass was insane and her face was gorgeous you never get the full package I hope you hit that." With full rage I ran across the room and tackled him to the ground.

"If you ever fucking talk about her like that again I will fucking murder you do you understand me." I might have taken it a little too far but I don't give a shit nobody talks about my girl like that.

"Are you fucking nuts man since when have you cared about any girl I talk about like that, don't tell me you found love at first sight or some bullshit like that." Little did he know I never stopped loving this girl and I probably never will.

"I'm sorry man I didn't think." Realizing what a freak I looked like just throwing myself at him like that.

"Ya you can say that again, what the fuck Joel who the hell is that girl to you?"

That girl is the love of my life that I lost years ago I thought to myself.

"We use to be together and I hadn't seen her for a few years and when I finally did everything just hit me hard."

"Do you still love her?" Love is a understatement I thought, this girl is my whole fucking universe.

"Man I don't think I ever stopped loving her." Saying the words out loud actually made me realize it more.

"Then why don't you get back with her Joel, go after her if you love her so much."

Ya too bad she has a fucking boyfriend, the thought of that makes my blood boil.

"She has a boyfriend Benji, I lost her and now some dick gets to hold her and love her, in my mind she will always be mine but I need to face the truth she hasn't been mine in a really long time." My heart is literally aching right now.

"I'm really disappointed in you Joel, I never thought of you being the type of man to back down from a challenge." The fuck was he talking about what challenge?

"I don't get what you're trying to say Benj"

"If you love her go after her, fuck the boyfriend if you had a love that was as strong as you say then i'm sure she loves you just as much as you do." Yeah except i'm the one that destroyed her heart, I don't think she can ever get over that.

"No man that won't work, I broke up with her when she gave me nothing but love and was always there for me." Every Time I think about that I want to go insane.

"I don't understand Joel if you love her so damn much then why end things with her that makes no sense to me." To bad the truth can never come out on why I did what I did.

"Benj I can't explain it's too complicated, all I know is that girl belongs to me I live and breath for her and I need her in my fucking life." That was the truth, I needed Nicole like I needed my last breath.

"I don't know what to say man but if I were you I would go and get my girl back, no matter what it took and trust me when I tell you she probably will always love you too." You know what why not? Maybe benji is right maybe I should fight for her, she's my girl and mine only and I will destroy anyone who comes in the way.

"Shit man that's pretty deep stuff how do you know so much about this love crap?"

"Man lets just say i've had someone in my life that I lost once too that I will always love, but it's ancient history that one i'll never be able to fix."

"Damn, i'm sorry man but you know what man you're right she belongs to me and it's time she knows it too, now hopefully her cellphone number hasn't changed." Scrolling through my contacts in my phone I found her name and hit call.