Risk Everything

Chapter 9

I lie down stiff as a board and wait for him to let go, but he doesn't. I can feel the breeze of his gentle breaths against the top of my head and realize he's already sleeping again, still tightly gripped to me. I try to get out of his grip but he tightens it again and pulls me even closer to his chest, as if that were possible.
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It's been a few minutes, and I'm still lying stiff as a board. Jungwoo has adjusted himself with his face against my shoulder, his arm draped over me, the other behind his head.  He's not clung to me anymore, but I feel like if I move away from him he'll cling to me again.
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Jungwoos POV

I open my eyes slightly, daylight shining on my face. I look down and Yeomins face is next to my chest, my arm draped over her shoulders. Her dark hair is glowing with the golden light, and her skin looks fresh and soft.
I'm not quite sure how to make this less awkward for her, knowing how she is. If I move she'll wake up, but if I stay she'll feel uncomfortable when she notices our position. I decide to quickly get out of bed, hoping she won't wake up, and she doesn't. I stretch my arms above my head and sit on the edge of the bed. Turning my head to look at the sleeping girl behind me, I smile a bit and look at my feet. I decide to make breakfast and slip my slippers on. As I walk to the kitchen I can't help but notice how rejuvenated she looks already. It's only been a day of consistent eating and she already looks better.
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Yeomins POV

I open my eyes to a bright light shining through the window. Squinting, I look beside me to an empty bed. There's noises coming from the kitchen, meaning Jungwoo is cooking.
I get up and slide my slippers on, walking to the bathroom.

Good god. The mirror doesn't lie. I look a mess.
I brush my hair and wash my face, noticing how chubby I look. Ive only eaten one meal and I look like I gained so much weight. Sighing, I leave the bathroom and walk to the kitchen.

"Morniiiiing!" Jungwoos voice rings out.
I don't reply, but instead sit at the table. Jungwoo looks over his shoulder for a second, continuing whatever he's doing.

"You ok?"
"Yeah." I reply.
Jungwoo walks to the table, setting down some dishes and chopsticks.
"What's wrong?" He asks, propping himself up accross the table from me.
I don't reply, but look up at him. He raises his eyebrows at me.
"Tell me." I shake my head.
"I'm fine."

Jungwoo just sighs and finishes putting the food on the table. He sits next to me and pats my shoulder.
"You did well last night so you only have to eat this bowl of rice." He smiles at me. I frown and look at him, then back at the bowl.

"That's 204 calories...." I say, pushing it away.

"You have to eat it." I scoff and shake my head.

"I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions." Jungwoo looks at me angrily.

"So you're not going to listen to me?" I shake my head.
"Nope." He looks away and laughs at my statement.

"Really? Because you were the one who agreed to let me help you. I didn't have to offer you any help but I did. You're welcome to go and struggle to find a job and jump from hotel to hotel if that's truly how you want to live.  You can make your decisions on your own huh? Ok then make the decision to starve yourself and die because you're underweight. I won't help you if you don't want me to. Just say and I'll take my room back and we can go our separate ways."

I don't reply. I just look at him. How can I reply to that?

"Whats it gonna be? Living in hotels and starving to death, or living with someone who wants nothing but to help you, and living healthily?"

I can't believe this.

"I barely know you Jungwoo."

"And? You still decided to live with me because you wanted help. Now you're denying my help."

I look at him for a second before standing up and running into the bathroom, my chair falling over behind me.

"Yeomin stop!"

I bend down in front of the toilet, tears streaming down my face. I hear him banging on the door, but I ignore it and stick my fingers In my throat. I dry cough and try again. I keep trying before the door opens, revealing Jungwoo with a butter knife in his hand. He drops the knife onto the floor and pulls me up by my waist. I try and pry his hands off of me, but he turns me around and grabs my face with one hand, the other tightly gripped around my wrist.

"Yeomin listen to me."  I keep trying to get away.

"Listen...." I scratch at his fingers, attempting to pry his hand off of my wrist.

"Yeomin!" He shouts. I choke on my tears and hyperventilate.

Jungwoos POV

"Listen to me... this is not healthy." I say to her as she gasps for air. I hold her face in both my hands and look into her eyes.
"You are not safe right now... if you keep doing this you're going to die." Shes not even listening... she keeps crying. I pull her to my room and she stumbles over herself on the way. I crouch in front of her while she sits on the bed and place my hands on her legs.

"I know you think that you're going to be more beautiful with the more weight you lose, but that's not the case. You're going to look like a skeleton. You are already so underweight I don't know how much more weight you can lose before you have to live in a hospital bed." I lecture.

"I don't see it." She says softly. I exhale deeply and look down.
Standing up, I grab her hand and walk her in front of my full body mirror.

"I see a sickly person. She's frail and her skin is grey. she looks as if you could make her disappear by blowing on her. I'm afraid to touch her because she might break. I can't see her spine yet, but I'm afraid of what will happen when it gets to that point."
(Ex: Wendy when she was underweight)
I'm afraid for her... so afraid.

"Yeomin look... I can wrap one arm around your entire waist. I can touch both of my hands together when I wrap them around your thigh..." 

She closes her eyes and turns around.

"I don't want to look."
I nod and pull her Into a hug, her face against my chest. I stroke her hair and put my cheek against the top of her head.

"Please... I know you don't want to, but it will get easier."

She nods hesitantly and I let out a deep breath, hugging her tighter.