ON THE ROAD

Hallie

I woke up feeling like the Big Bang was happening all over again inside my head. I could barely get my eyes to open and thinking made every cell in my brain ache.

I mumbled a few words, receiving an elbow in my ribs.

"-Would you shut up?"angrily whispered a voice next to my head.

I freaked out for a second: I was still fully dressed, but who knew who this was. I had no idea who had put me to bed and had not a clue what had happened to me the previous night, except for vague memories of a half-dead man. I managed to look to the side to see Maxine, a glass of water in her hands, staring at the ceiling.

"-What the hell..." I succeeded to say.

I received a dark look from Maxine.

"-Drink." She said while handing me her glass.

"-No, I'm...

-Drink or you'll regret it."

Following her request, I almost chocked on the sip of water I had managed to drink. Alcohol definitely wasn't for me... I rested in bed for a few minutes before standing up on my feet, my knees trembling under the weight of my weak body.

"-I don't think I can drive you today..."

As soon as the words left my mouth, Maxine leaped above the bed and moved her face a few inches from mine. Her eyes were dark and a spiral of anger twirled in them.

"-You. Will. Drive."she spit out.

I tried backing away, but she grabbed me, her fingers pressing hard against my shoulder bones.

"-What's going on? I... I just don't think I can do it, that's all.

-You don't have a choice."

She pressed her fingers even deeper into my skin.

"-You drive or you get the fuck out of this room."

I couldn't stop warm tears from appearing in the corner of my eyes. I had never been good at staying stoic in arguments; I always ended up crying, which never helped my cause.

"-Get off me!"I squeaked before escaping from her brutal touch.

I could see that she was trying to calm herself before opening her mouth again.

"-Listen, if you don't drive, we're stuck here for the whole fucki... for the whole day. Your parents are going to start worrying soon and we need to be as far as possible. Please."

Her face twisted in what looked like disgust when she pronounced her last word, as if apologizing was a dreadful crime. I didn't get why she wouldn't just drive, but I knew that I couldn't back off yet. I had always thought that everything happened for a reason and I couldn't believe that this whole crazy story was only meant for me to give a ride to an old friend to a little seaside town and get wasted for the first time. Everyday felt scarier than the last, but even if keeping on going would make her believe I was weak and submissive for allowing her to speak to me like that, I took my bag and headed towards the bathroom to get ready for another day of driving.

"-Fuck," I heard her mumble as I was getting ready.

I slightly opened the door and saw her bent over, franticly gathering a couple of white pills that had been spilled on the floor. From my angle, I saw the little pill slowly melting on her tongue and the peaceful look replacing the anger on her face. In a matter of seconds, she looked like a totally different person. She never looked at me and, scared that she might see me lurking, I stepped back in the little room. I sat on the toilet and shook my head in an attempt to forget what I had just seen. I had never been comfortable with drugs and always hated the idea of losing control of myself. After the night I had spent, I knew that I would have to resist much harder the next time she would offer me something, whatever it could be. It was only one night, our first night, but I was afraid to be losing sight of myself. I knew that her lifestyle was way different than mine, but I hoped we could share other things during this trip than her taste for rebellion.

I looked up at myself in the mirror and sighted. The reflection I saw was one of the less glorious I had ever seen. My dark circles seemed to be swallowing my whole face, my skin was pale and my eyes were red. The girl I saw seemed exhausted and, contrarily to the memory I had of my night, when I felt on the top of the world, I barely felt alive.

Here I was, running away from home, with a girl doing drugs in the other room. At that moment, I had never felt more alone. I understood that what made my home so cozy might not have been the love or the care our family had towards each member, but the feeling of safety I was lucky enough to have everyday.

Standing in this dirty motel room, I prayed to God. For the first time in awhile, I prayed for myself and not because I had to. I prayed for reassurance. I prayed for our destination not to be so far away so that I could fo back to my life in no time. I prayed for the tears running down my cheeks to be the last ones before the end of our journey. And finally, I prayed to understand who the hell was Maxine.