all that glitters » david dobrik au

fifty eight

Gabbie, Corinna and I spent the entire day Sunday doing little girly self care things like face masks and exfoliating and talking shit about boys. Lots of shit talking, actually. Only a few minutes of everything else.

"Yeah, and then he told me he didn't want to mess around with me anymore," Corinna nodded, no sign of hurt crossing her face. "So I guess his relationship with Olivia is getting more serious. I don't know."

"He's just trying," I told her. "I mean, he hasn't told me he is, but probably. He's lowkey really romantic. He probably doesn't like just messing around knowing you're betrothed to Alex."

"Yeah, like me and Alex will ever do anything slightly romantic or sexual. Our dates consist of playing Fortnite and eating hot cheetos. I don't think that's the problem. He's been acting weird lately, though."

"He might be stressed out. Both of our scholarships got fucked up," I suggested with a shrug. "His is worse than mine, though, because his math grade is so low. He has an actual chance of losing his scholarship. The paperwork was just messed up on mine."

"Can we talk about someone else?" Gabbie pleaded, clearly annoyed with all the Todd talk. I had never noticed that there seemed to be issues between them until a few weeks ago, but maybe I just wasn't looking hard enough. "Like, perhaps, David?"

"Perhaps we can," I giggled in response, grabbing the bag of Doritos from the center of the circle we made. "What do you want to know?"

"All the cute things he does," Corinna answered for the two. "You know, he's not very sentimental with us. We literally cannot imagine him being very cute with you, especially since you guys keep the PDA to a minimum. Like, what does he say to you? I just don't get it."

"He's not that cute most of the time," I reassured them with a laugh. "Ninety nine percent of the time, we're making fun of each other. He's only nice when he's in a weird mood, or when he's trying to get into my pants. He just says he loves me a lot, and calls me pretty and stuff. It works, I guess."

"Obviously, it works," Gabbie raised her eyebrows suggestively. "You couldn't stay at prom for an hour before you were leaving to go fuck... missing the after party!"

"Yeah, I really missed watching you guys drunkenly play Just Dance," I scoffed with a playful eyeroll. "You're lucky I wasn't there. I would've kicked your ass."

That challenge lead to an entire afternoon of Just Dance-ing, complete with many, many I bet you can't win agains. Little did they know, the only thing I asked for every Christmas growing up was Just Dance. I was an expert at nearly every level. I could do them with my eyes closed. I could always win.

Walking into school the next day, I was sore, exhausted, and excited. It was our final week of junior year, and boy was I ready to be a senior. College seemed so much better than a high school that had devil teachers, mean girls, and a whole gossip blog that seemed to only want to talk about me. I was ready to move on with my life, and leaving junior year behind was my way of doing just that.

The school day went as usual, but felt even slower. Since I had all As and was exempt from all my finals, it felt like a useless day of reviewing content I didn't need to review. Needless to say, I was thankful when I could finally hop in David's car and head to get some Panera.

A thought entered my mind, and somehow I couldn't stop it.

"Sometimes I still want to kill myself," I blurted out to kill the silence of the car, cringing once the words left my lips.

"Okay," David replied with a nod. I could tell he was trying to think of how to respond in a way that wouldn't upset me. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly with a shrug. "Just like, if you wanted to break up with me... because I'm not normal... I would understand that. I wouldn't hold it against you."

"Where is this coming from?" he asked again, his voice calm and patient and curious. He didn't seem disappointed, like I thought he would be.

"Just thinking," I replied simply. "I guess I thought I wouldn't be thinking that stuff anymore, but sometimes, all I can think about is how worthless existence is and the sooner you die, the better. I don't feel like I'll ever be just a normal person. I would understand if you wouldn't want to put yourself through that."

"Okay, well, for starters, I don't want you to be normal. You think I surround myself with normal people? Have you fucking met Corinna?" he half laughed, but returned to his serious face immediately after. "You have had one of the most fucked up childhoods you can have without being fucking molested or something. It's understandable that you think suicidal things sometimes. You're getting help for it, and one day, you might feel completely better. I'm not going to leave you because you've had a hard time, Mona. I love you." 

"What if I killed myself?" I asked before I could stop myself, immediately feeling my body tensing up at the question I posed.

"I—" David couldn't even find a way to answer me. I stayed quiet until he did. "Mona, I would be fucking devastated if I lost you." 

"Okay," I said. "I'm not going to. I was just wondering."

"Do you want to go take a nap, sweetheart? You seem a little out of it."

"No, I'm fine, but I need to stop at home. I forgot to take my pill this morning."

"Oh," David glanced at the road, then looked down to open his glove box, pulling out a ziploc bag with a white and green pill in it. It was one of my Prozacs. "I always have one in here, if you need one. Just in case you ever forget."

My bottom lip began involuntarily poking out, and my eyes began welling up with tears that I didn't want to leak. "David, that's really fucking cute. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," he smiled, squeezing my thigh. "I'm gonna need another one once I drop you off."

I nodded in agreement, tucking the empty bag back into the glove box, noticing a glint reflecting once I did. I reached my hand in and pulled out the small bracelet, the one that I gave him for Christmas, the one that said Talulah.

"You still have this?" I asked, twisting it between my fingers.

"Of course I do," he replied with ease. "You gave it to me. It's too small for me, so I keep it in my glove box. She keeps me safe. My mom, I mean. She keeps me safe."

I smiled, grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers. I was so glad David was in it for the long haul because at this point, I didn't think I would ever let him go.

Hi two more chapters ahh eek im excited

Xoxo abby

Also im very sleepy but i wrote this instead of napping so if it makes 0 sense i apologize