Guarding My Faith

seven

I couldn't fall asleep at all. It wasn't because of the entire Adam issue, but I had a nightmare. One of which included my parents. I don't remember exactly what happened in the nightmare but all I know was that I quickly sat up on my bed, sweating, with tears dripping down my cheeks.

Small scenes of the nightmare started flooding my mind. My younger self getting locked in a room by mom and dad. I remember they kept me there the entire night, crying, starving. I was only ten.

My mom used to scold me most of the time I was with her. Dad would be away on business trips while Kevin and I were stuck with our mother. I remember when I tried to run away from home when she hit me on my cheek. We went into a huge argument and an even bigger one when dad came home. They pushed me onto the sofa and were a bit violent as they pulled my hair when I didn't answer their question. From then on I refused to speak in class and I refused to tell anyone about the behavior my parents were showing me.

I walk into the bathroom to get myself washed up. I look at myself in the mirror, slowly trying to make myself smile. I suck in a deep breath and exhale. I won't let the dumb nightmare ruin my day. Even though I force myself to look happy, I can't seem to stop the tears from falling.

The tip of my nose is flushed in a light shade of red. I touch it lightly and it burns my nose. My eyes still feel wet as I splash water on my face.

"Alexis, are you up?" Sara asks, knocking on my door. I quickly brush away the tears with my sleeve and splash water on my face again to make my red eyes not very noticeable.

"Yeah, I'm up," I reply as I get out of the bathroom. Sara opens the door to my bedroom with five outfits in her hands and arms. "Which one would look better?"

I point to a random outfit. Sara looks at me for a brief second before biting her lip and turning her head slightly towards me.

"Were you crying?"

"No, it's just from the cold."

"But it's summer," Sara remarks.

"Yeah. It's from the cold I caught," I reply hesitantly, making a point to add in a fake cough. Sara stares at me strangely but doesn't bother to ask further questions. I guess she can tell I don't want to talk about it.

"Okay, thanks," Sara replies and turns to leave the room.

"Wait, I won't be going to school today. I don't feel so great so let the teachers know I'm sick," I tell her. "Can you get me my work?"

"Sure, feel better Alexis," she says before closing the door.

I flop down on my bed, closing my eyes. That's when I remember the nightmare from last night. It makes me so anxious that I'm too scared to close my eyes. I don't want to remember the past. It hurts. The past hurts.

I force myself to get up and change into some comfy clothes.

I go downstairs to grab some snacks and start playing games on the TV.

"Kill it! Kill it! KILL!" I shout at the TV screen. I'm lying on my stomach on the edge of the sofa, about to fall. "NO! This stupid contr—"

I get off the game as soon as I fall down onto the floor. These games are so frustrating! I was so close to winning but I always ended up being the one killed at the end. I stand up to turn off the game and the controller.

"Oh my gosh! They have a virtual reality game!" I scream in shock when I touch the headset carefully. Should I play? I look over at the clock. It's only 12 pm.

I do live here now. So it won't be too bad to play. I'll just stop playing at 2. Without thinking twice, I turn on the game and put on the headset.