Beautifully Unfinished

(18)

"Ralph asked me out. Again." Yvonne said while playing with on of my soft toys.

"Wow. And what did you say?" I asked snatching the toy away from her. Because she was used to dig her nails into it and tear them apart.

"I said nothing. I'll think about it."

"And have you thought about it?"

"No. I'm confused. He's a good guy. And he likes me. I mean what else can I want right?"

"Exactly. Why don't you just say yes?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not over John."

"Ugh. For God's sake. Forget him. Ralph is good. And you should give him a chance."

"Yeah. It's been like 1 or 2 years since he first asked me out. And he still likes me. I mean his feelings have to be real, right?"

"Yes!
Yvonne looked at me and smiled.

Two days later, my single best friend was no more single. She said yes to Ralph. They both were happy now. She finally got her first boyfriend who happened to be the best.

But then it hit me. Both of my best friends were now in a relationship. But I wasn't. I was alone. And pathetic.

***

My birthday of 2018.

Ridiculous as it may seem, Ruth was determined to make my birthday special. And her way of doing it was to bring home my supposed boyfriend for all my family to see. I was nervous so I told my mom I didn't know who was coming. It was all Ruth, she was bringing over her friends.

So the day arrived and Ruth came over with Samuel, Tori and another girl I hated. I wasn't excited at all but I managed to fake smiles and laughter so that everyone felt included. Luckily, I had Yvonne by my side the whole time. She saved me from any awkward and unnecessary moments.

After cake was cut and snacks were eaten, Ruth declared it was time for a surprise. I was nervous as her surprises usually were not good for me.

Samuel got up and put his hand in his pocket. Ruth pulled me up from the couch to stand up too. I exchanged glances with Yvonne. And she gave me a ensuring blink.
Samuel pulled out a little box and opened it. Lo! It had a ring in it.

"What? What is this? A proposal or something?" I said, laughing nervously.

"No. Just a gift from Samuel." said Ruth.

Ruth pulled my left hand forward and gave it to Samuel. He held it. I'm sure he could feel my hands were trembling. He gently pushed the ring in my ring finger.

It's a place for engagement rings. I thought to myself as everyone else cheered except Yvonne.

My hand was still in Samuel's hand.

"Kiss her!" The other girl I hate exclaimed.

I froze. I looked over to Yvonne with pleading eyes. She understood and quickly interrupted.

"Guys, I think it's too soon. Maybe just kiss her hand and let it go?"

I just wanted to hug Yvonne so tight for saying that sentence. I was so thankful.

After everyone had left, Ruth said she wanted to spend some alone time with me. I felt so happy and agreed almost immediately.

We were walking down the street talking about various things. Ruth too my hand and held it tightly. It felt so warm and loving. I couldn't tell her how much all this meant to me. I just kept smiling and let her talk.

Suddenly, we were interrupted by Ruth's phone ringing. It was Matthew. He was coming to meet her.

"I'll have to go."

"Oh okay." I said, smiling to hide my disappointment.

"This was so much fun. I want to walk like this with you forever. I'm telling you this was the best day."

All that she said made me feel better.

"Bye and love you." She said out of habit and rushed off.

"I love you, too." I mumbled under my breath.

***

A week later, I was texting Ruth when the topic of my birthday came up.

Ruth - Omg yes. It was really the best day.

Me - Why so? ;)

I thought she was talking about our long walk and how much we enjoyed. But she wasn't.

Ruth - I kissed Matthew. So many times. His lips, his neck, his hand, his shoulder. I think it was probably the most kisses we ever had in a day.

As soon as I read the text, I felt the world around me shattering. It had happened before and it happened again. Why did I ever think that things have changed?

I threw my phone on the bed and rushed into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror with my hands on the wash basin. I pressed all my anger onto the basin while staring at myself with tears in my eyes. And then I collapsed. I fell down to my knees and burst out crying.

I couldn't believe that Ruth had the best day on my birthday by kissing her boyfriend like a million times. How many more times will I break like this? When will this all be over?