dyslm

chapter 1

Date: August 20, 2024

Deanna

"Uy, balita ko kasama mo raw si Ate Bei sa interview na yan," Ponggay says from the other side of the call, may 30 minutes nalang ako para magprepare and makapunta sa address kung saan isho-shoot yung interview.

"Yeah, it's a coincidence na pareho kaming ni-recruit nung company, but I'm glad na may kilala ako doon, kahit hindi masyado tayo napapansin ni Ate Bei because of her work." I reply habang sinisintas ko ang mga sapatos ko.

Ever since na nauwi namin ang trophy from Season 81 at nakapag-sign off na si Ate Bei, hindi na siya umuusap sa groupchats namin, as if dineactivate niya mga accounts niya on any social media platforms.

Pero nagsend siya ng letters sa amin na she's doing fine and she explained na gusto niyang mag-off muna sa internet and focus on herself and her career.

We respected it, pero dahil wala siya, nabawasan ang pagkabaliw namin and it's like reality really slapped us, and because of it nagpasya kaming magfocus rin sa aming sarili but with the exception na kakamustahin parin namin ang isa't isa once a month.

Just like right now, kausap ko si Ponggay and hindi siya mapakali na magme-meet ulit kami ng ex ko na si Jema Galanza.

"Yang interview na yan, it's so similar to that one movie I just watched a few weeks ago. It's about this guy and his ex, narealize nilang dalawa na they both had made mistakes that tore them apart, pero because of talking and talking and getting to know each other again, nagkatuluyan sila in the end. And today, feeling ko magkakatuluyan ulit kayo ni Jema, I just feel it, tell me you feel it too, right?" Tanong niya sa dulo.

"Yes, and I hope so na magkatotoo yan, pero we won't know kasi ang alam ko feelings change as long as time doesn't ever stop ticking." I hear her clicking her tongue, "If you believe in soulmates, time will be your ally." The wittiness in her voice, affects how long it is when we graduated college.

It's been five years now, and it's been five years since I had a relationship. Pero ngayon, sisiguraduhin ko na siya ulit ang first and last ko.

"Oh well, Deanna una na ko, I still have to meet with Maddie and Kat. Take care of yourself, if ever na makita mo si Ate Bei, say hi for the rest of us." And dun ko na na-end yung call namin, it was short but it had enough sweetness to it. Parang mas gumaan loob ko and mas na motivate akong gawin 'tong interview na 'to.

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Ced

Hindi pa ako nakakapasok ng building, tanaw na tanaw ko agad yung figure ni Caloy.

It was as if she's waiting for me and when she drifts her eyes over me, totoo ngang hinhintay niya ako.

Siya pa nga nag-open nung glass door instead of nung guard, nakasimangot lamang si manong kasi para talagang duty na duty niya yun. Pero Caloy, when will you ever stop being so charming?

"'Ello, Ced." Nakangisi siya, and I don't know if I should be entertained or not.

"First time mo," I just said, pero this made her eyebrows knot in confusion, nag-start na akong lumakad, "First time mong hindi ma-late. And this isn't even a date." Nagmaldita ako sa kanya, just for her to taste the bitterness from the years that drove by.

"Oy sandali, masakit yun ah." She catches up to me, "So, kamusta ka?" Tanong niya, pero hindi ko siya sinagot.

She still tries to engage a conversation with me, "May bago na ba? Pakilala mo naman ako, hehe." I can tell na peke yung tawa niya at the end of her sentence, pero to answer her question, I've tried dating pero palaging sablay.

Nobody has been enough since her.

Pagkaliko namin para sa elevator, inunahan niya ko sa paglakad then proceeds to block my way.

"Ano ba problema mo? We have a schedule dito sa interview natin, and you're wasting time." Sinabi ko 'to na may halong konting galit.

"Wait lang kasi, gusto ko lang ng kahit na konting oras para malaman kung maayos ka ba o hindi, kasi matagal na tayong hindi nagkita and parang ang bastos naman kapag hindi kita kinamusta." Ah, alam ko na kung saan 'to papunta. I really hate you, Caloy.

"Hindi pwede, kailangan natin i-save 'to para mamaya. May mga questionnaires silang ibibigay satin, makukuha mo naman ang conversation na gusto mo mamaya. Try to be patient." Binaba ko ang mga braso niya and I swear, parang may na-feel akong spark when I touched her.

But I chose to ignore it. Nakita ko nalang na medyo nakababa na yung ulo niya, parang tahimik na nagmumukmok and because of this, hindi ko kayang magsinungaling na gusto ko rin na malaman kung kamusta na siya. But I did.

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Bea

"Beh- Bea," Napalingon ako.

It's her. She's real, and she hasn't changed a bit. The only thing that's changing is her growing beauty. Nabibighani nanaman ako after years of not seeing her, "Can I hug you?" Tanong ko, nag-smile lang siya ng onti, pero it's enough for me to get the answer as a yes.

Nang mayakap ko siya, my heart beats fast, I missed this. I missed her warmth, and hindi lang ito ang mga na-miss ko, sobrang dami pa.

"How are you?" Ask ko, nagkibit balikat na lamang siya, as if hindi niya kayang sagutin ang tanong ko. Something's off and gritty about her demeanor. Because of this, I'm curious as to what happened to her these past 5 years.

According to the guy, my partner and I need to go to this interview together, kailangan pagkapasok namin sa studio magkasabay kami. And it doesn't matter naman, pero kung ang ulterior motive nila is to open the wound in my heart that is still throbbing and hurting after all these years-they succeeded.

Habang naglalakad kami, it's her body that I see. The memories of us fit in my mind like a jigsaw puzzle, bittersweet images in my train of thoughts.

I wonder if siya rin nasasaktan.

"What floor?" She asked pagkatapos namin pumasok sa elevator.

Tahimik lang ako as I press the designated button para makatungtong kami sa studio.

"How's Nico?" As soon as I say this, nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata then sumimangot with her eyebrows furrowed in anger. "Wag mong banggitin ang pangalan niya." She says.

"Akala ko ba... siya nalang at wala nang iba?" I'm so mean, this is probably one of the reasons we broke up. Pero most of the time, lalo na't I'm currently hurting, di ko mapigilang gumanti.

"Maling akala. Period." She crosses her arms, then leaned sa wall ng elevator. We stayed that way.

Kahit magkadikit kami, our hearts have walls and wide spaces away from each other's reach.