being the little brother.

Mind all over the place

Okay I know I'm meant to update more but I'm literally clueless on what to do so if these few chapters are rubbish then sorry.  If any of you guys have any ideas I'm open.

Jays pov
I spoke for the first time the other day. It was a simple 4 worded question but the difference it made on my two brothers was amazing. Yes two Erik was taken away. He told me it was for the best and it was making me deal less anxious without his outbursts. I've spoken more often to Sammy and Jake but not the therapists. I can't say I'm happy though. I remember the dark enclosed walls of the cave. The ice cold chill and the dull headache. Never knowing weather your eyes are open or closed. And that's what keeps me awake night after night. I've tried pills but nothing helps.
And imagine going back to school with  all of this laying down on me. Or will I even go back to my old school with bailey? I have to be moved to a child's home so I might move. I hope I'm with at least one of my brothers.
And then there's mum and dad we're are they? Are they coming for me? Am I even safe anymore is Erik safe? Is Sammy and Jake safe. Will I be hit again? Will I be locked in closets and tied to beds and whipped and hit and punched And kicked and...
"Jay it's okay your safe your not in that place your with your brothers try and copy my breathing." No no no I haven't had an asthma attach since the hospital I can't have another. But my lungs seem to be disobeying as I feel them getting tighter by the second. "I-I'm t-trying" my voice broke halfway through. Someone rushed in the room. I'm drowning I can't breath. There's so much pressure on my kind what's wrong with me!? Please breath breath breath I CAnT BREaTh!! Help help help!!!!
"It's okay we're going to help you it's okay jay can you try and calm down a bit" that isn't my brother! I want my brother this isn't fair we're is he has he left like Erik no I need one of them here please. Another body cake closer and I recognized Jakes steady breathing. I gripped l around his neck and pulled close. I wasn't listening to his breathing but more his heartbeat.
"It's okay open your mouth please we're here to help" I oblige and an oblong thing is pushed into my mouth. This reminds me so much of when a thunderstorm happened. I had to have my inhaler forced into my mouth.  That damned thunderstorm was what started this damned life. The scars that used to haunt me are no liner on my conscience. My epilepsy not as bad as they've put me on stronger medication. My asthma still there but handled by professionals. And my parents are alive. One of my brothers gone one of my brothers broken and one of my biggest hardened. But for once it's not my fault of Erik's or sams of jakes it my horrid mum and dad. They basically killed all there children and left them to die. My brothers were popular at school with many friends and sport and I loved playing the guitar and singing but that's not us anymore just like Erik said. We're not the same. And we never will be but maybe we can be better. And I've started trying.
But during the whole speech in my head may I just quickly remind myself that I've just fallen unconscious and that's probably not the best thing.

Jakes pov
Even during his asthma he's getting better and along side him so are we. I can even tell he's thinking better thoughts although sometimes his mind is all over the place. But it's working. Maybe everything will be better soon.

Half of this is on the wrong tense and half of it is in English not American so I apologize. It's 4 minutes past midnight so I guess happy Easter.
Jay