The last of the elves

Chapter 8

*3rd pov*

Zelda: HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME LINK?! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KNOCK ME OUT AND GET AWAY WITH IT?!!

Rhoam was holding back a livid princess while Asia was healing my numerous new bruses. For a princess she had an iron grip on my neck as she tried to strangle me to death. The only reason I got out involved Royal light magic, a frying pan, several minutes of constant yelling, and a rubber chicken Rhoam never leaves the house without.

...We don't ask questions here...

(I'm gonna be completely honest here, I was heavily intoxicated when I wrote that stuff above... but fuck it it's funny, so it stays)

Rhoam: calm down daughter if you ju-

Zelda: DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO CALM DOWN?!

Ken: Link's dead!

Zelda: What do you mean?! Your right there!!

Rhoam: He isn't the champion Zelda... You've been asleep for... Quite a long time...

Zelda eyed her father then turned to me and stared at me intensely as if staring into my very soul.

Zelda: If you aren't the champion, then why do you wield that blade?

Rhoam: He may not be Link but just like him, the holy blade chose him as well. In fact, he may just be the last if current events are not stopped.

Zelda:...tell me everything...

*Ken pov*

Ken: The long version of the summary?

Zelda: the short version please.

Ken: ok, basically angels and devils have been fighting over the world, a devil thot-

Zelda: Thot?

Ken: a short hand for a likely prostitute in this case, anyway she wanted to enslave me because I am an elf and apparent reincarnation of your Link dude, and now the world is gonna end cuz the supernatural powers that be sealed away all magic but the deal is gonna burst soon. Then I came to save a princess but in all her supposed wisdom, she mistoke me for another man and kicked me in the crotch and tried to strangle me to death.

Zelda glared at me but after a minute sighed.

Zelda: Ok I might need the long version, without the sarcasm this time... *whispers* bastard...

Ken: Heard that!

Rhoam and Asia chuckled and started to explain before the destined hero that I am, fought this princess to the death... Is this why bowsette is so popular? Because if all princesses are as violent and temperamental as this, I don't blame Mario for ditching Peach for Bowsette.... Hell I would help trap her in the damn castle...

Zelda: So let me get this straight. These supernatural beings sealed away magic to keep humanity, who took over after we elves faded from memory, weak. Now that deal is about to break, and now you think that the triforce of power can fix it. Is that the plan here?

Ken: Kinda yeah...

Zelda facepalms

Zelda: Oh my Hyleia you guys... That won't work, the triforce doesn't work that way. The only thing that sealing the magic again would do is cause another detonation at a later date...

Asia: Then what do we do?

Zelda then runs her temples trying to think.

Zelda: Well from what I can gather we can't fix the world so either we suck it up and accept this status quo the angels and devils have for your humanity... or we strengthen the entire race to allow them to retake the world...

Ken: and oh most wise of princesses... How the hell do we manage that? Even if we can somehow strengthen the human race, they are enslaved by the angels and devils. Do you have a plan to free them?

Zelda: Well in order to prepare humanity, I would say we would need the entire triforce and take it to the wellspring of magic. From there I can redirect the excess magic into humanity.

Ken: and how are we-

Rhoam: That way work, but do you know where that wellspring is?

Zelda: No but if we can get out hands on information from one of the cache from the supernatural beings, I can pinpoint where to go. I can perform the ritual once we get there.

Ken: that still doesn't answer my-

Rhoam: That ritual requires a number of people attuned to both darkness and light. Not to mention your own triforce was sealed by Link after he... left you here...

Zelda started to twitch. Then she looked to the sky.

Zelda: FUCK YOU LINK!!! YOU HYLEIA-DAMNED MO-

Smack

Zelda: ACK!

Asia: Language! That's a nickel for the sweat jar!

Ken: Asia, you seem to love to hit people with that frying pan... Where did you get it? You didn't bring it here?

Asia: ...You know... I don't know... Don't ask questions please!

Ken: Uhh alright then... Now Zelda how are we gonna-

Asia: Can I help with the ritual please princess?

I swear they are doing this on purpose now...

Zelda rubbed the lump in her head while glaring at the blonde haired girl.

Zelda: You hit me now you ask to help? Do you even know elvish magic girl?

Rhoam: Ohohoho! Don't worry about that my girl, I'll teach her our ways!

Zelda was shocked while I was startled for another reason. Did that guy just... Well now I can't see him as a former king... The guy laughs and looks like Santa and he used to lead the elves... God damn it... When did my life get so wierd...

Zelda: You would teach this... Human our ways?!

Rhoam shrugged.

Rhoam: Why not? It's not like I have elves lining up to learn anymore. Royal blood or not, she has a high affinity for light. I would accuse her of being an angel if I didn't know any better. Why? Do you have anyone else to help? We need 3 lights affinities and 2 dark affinities to finish it and I can't leave.

Zelda: ...fine...

Ken: Can I speak now? Please?

Rhoam: of course, young man.

Ken: Well even if all this goes according to plan, how are we, a small group, going to free humanity? They are guarded by the bulk of heaven and hell's armies...

Zelda smiled mischievously.

Zelda: Oh WE aren't.

I have a bad feeling about this...

Zelda:*points to me* you are.

...FUCK MY LIFE!!

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(A/n before I get flac for this, Ken does have his own triforce of courage and just because he questions "why him?" doesn't mean he won't go through with it. He isn't Link who has had all of Hyrule in some cases telling him he is a destined hero, he was just kinda thrust into this from a normal if kinda bad, due to issei's reputation, life. So I was trying to convey that... After I got drunk and wrote that small bit at the start. Sorry bout that... Anyway, next chapter the rest of the gang follows after Ken and Asia but time doesn't flow the same in this realm... To the others it will be just moments but to Ken and Asia it will be days of not weeks later.

Also sorry about the slow updates I will try to get my shit together but life is kinda being a bitch at the moment)