Two Lonely Monsters (Marauders fanfic) Book 2

28- Who Is The Enemy?

Once Sara and Remus arrived home, they couldn't find anything to say to each other, so they both went straight to bed. Sara then remained in bed for the next few days, unable to face the world.
The weight of Sirius's betrayal, and James, Lily, and Peter's deaths, was too much for Sara to take.
Remus and Sara had lost three Marauders in one week, one of which was now about to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban prison, for betraying the other two.
Neither of them said a word to each other for days, as there were no comforting words that they they could give to each other. Even Remus couldn't think of anything positive to say, to improve the situation.

It took a full week, of not leaving the house, until Sara felt ready to re-enter the outside world again.
The rest of the wizarding world's happy, positive emotions, did nothing to fill the cold empty hole, in Sara's heart.
The people smiled and laughed, while Sara weaved through them in silence, refusing to let herself get caught up in the happiness that was flying around Diagon Alley.
Her black outfit seemed out of place in the brightly coloured streets, but she was still in mourning, so she continued to wear black, as a sign of respect to her dead friends.
Sara thought that being out and about, might make her feel better, but she was wrong.
Everywhere she looked, she was haunted by the ghosts of her friends.
The Marauders had gone everywhere together, so Sara struggled to walk through the town, with the constant reminders of her lost friends, everywere she looked.

After a miserable shopping trip in Diagon Alley, Sara returned home pretty quickly, and found Remus waiting for her in the living room.
"I thought you'd be longer" muttered Remus.
Sara shrugged, and sat down on the sofa opposite him.
"Didn't you buy anything?" Quizzed Remus.
"No... I couldn't find anything I wanted to buy, other than some food for the rest of the week" answered Sara, pointing to the small paper bag she had left by the door.
"Did you enjoy your walk?" Remus asked.
"It wasn't quite as refreshing as I had hoped"
"That's a shame... We should go together next time"
"Yes. But today I just wanted some time to myself, which is why I went out... Unfortunately the streets were very busy today, so I didn't get any time alone, which is why the walk didn't really help"
"I'm sorry to hear that".

A uncomfortable silence filled the room, as neither Sara or Remus knew what else to say.
Eventually Sara couldn't take it any longer, so she decided to open up a disscusion, about the one thing they had refused to talk about, since their trip to the Ministry.
"Where did we go wrong Remus?... How did Sirius manage to join Voldemort, without any of us knowing?" She questioned.
"I don't know" mumbled Remus.
"I still can't believe it... We knew him. We loved him, and he loved us. In my heart, I know that Sirius would have rather died, than betray James. They were like brothers"
"I guess we didn't know him as well as we thought"
"No, we did know him. His feelings for us, were not fake. I know he cared for us. Think about it, he had hundreds of opportunities to kill us all, and he didn't. So I just can't accept the Ministry's conclusion. Sirius is not a bad person".

"Stop it Sara. Just stop it. There's no point in thinking about the past. The Sirius we knew, wasn't real, and everything he said to us, was a lie. He betrayed us all, and we just have to accept that" insisted Remus.
"Well I can't. I believe in the man I knew, and you should too. He was our friend, and he needs us now, more than ever.
We have to try and prove his innocence" replied Sara.
"If you don't believe that Sirius is a traitor, then how to you explain all these bad things that have happened?
We knew someone in the Order was betraying us. And Sirius was the Secret Keeper, so it has to be him"
"What if he wasn't? What if they changed the Secret Keeper, without telling us?"
"That is a very big, what if. And it's a nice thought. But Dumbledore confirmed that it was Sirius, and I believe him".

"But what if James and Sirius changed it, at the last minute, without telling anyone?" Questioned Sara.
"Well who would they have changed it to?" Remus quizzed.
"I don't know... What about Peter?"
"Peter?"
"Yes. He's like the least likely person they would choose to protect them, which makes him the perfect candidate. Because no one would think that the Secret Keeper would be Peter.
So what if he was the traitor? He's much more likely to betray us, than Sirius"
"Peter is dead"
"I know that... On the night James and Lily died, Sirius told me that Peter had gone missing, so he was going to go and find him. What if Peter went into hiding, after telling Voldemort about Godric's Hollow, by accident?"
"You're grasping at straws".

"Well it's a much better idea, than Sirius betraying us all, of his own free will.
If I had to trust one of them with my life, I would choose Sirius, and I know you would too.
So I just can't see any reason why Sirius would ever turn his back on us" admitted Sara.
"Sara! Stop all of this nonscence. Peter is dead. And Sirius is in jail for his murder. Even if Sirius didn't betray us, which he did, he still murdered Peter, and an entire street of Muggles. Why would he have done all that, if he was innocent?" Questioned Remus.
"I don't know. But I still don't believe that Sirius is guilty. He's our friend-"
"Was our friend. He turned his back on all of us. He is not our friend, anymore"
"Well I don't believe that he did".

Remus sighed, as he got out of his seat, and headed out of the room.
"I'm too tired to argue with you" he said quietly, as he reached the door that led to the bedroom.
"I know that I'm right Remus" insisted Sara.
"Believe in what you want. If your brain can't accept that Sirius is a traitor, and this is your way of processing our friends deaths, then fine.
But just don't talk to me about your theories. I can't hear them anymore. It hurts too much to think about the past. I am trying to put this all behind me, and you should too" replied Remus.
He smiled sadly at Sara, before exiting the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts, once again.