Hidden truth- The sequel

07: realisation

Justin's voice kept echoing through my ears. My body winced at the memories of him taking the drug next to me, causing my eyes to wide open. I look around and notice myself in the bathroom. My arms and head rested on the toilet lid, pushing onto it to lift my body up properly.

"Angel? Are you okay?" His voice asks softly.

Did I fall asleep here?

I stretch my body and feel my bones cracking, feeling the burn in my eyes as well because of how I cried myself to sleep. My eyes spot myself in the mirror, bloodshot puffy eyes and a slight bruise around my throat. Lowering my gaze to my elbow, noticing my skin toned in purple.

Madness overcomes me, anger and frustration as well when I remember his behaviour yesterday. So many things spin around my head, too many questions which need to be answered.

He knocked again but before he said anything else my hand grabbed the doorknob after I unlocked the bathroom door. My eyes look down to see him still in the same shorts as yesterday night, I didn't dare to look up.

"What-" he interrupted himself the second I share my eyes with him. All they showed was disgust, disappointment and hatred. I notice a print of my hand on his cheek, making me feel guilty again.

I shouldn't, I know. I don't feel guilty for defending myself. I feel guilty because our relationship came to this situation- this low.

His hazel eyes showed confusion, he noticed that something wasn't right at all. I didn't need to talk, he could imagine the worst.

He swallowed down, clenched his jaw as he struggled to talk to me. His lips part but no words were heard, until- "did I-"

He stepped closer but in reflex to his sudden move, I step back and hit my back against the door. I sharply look to my side, everywhere but to him.

"What.. what did I do?" He asks me, his voice cracks as he stepped back.

I suck my lips in and refused to answer. I just couldn't. I didn't know what to say- yet alone how to answer. The scenario of him disrespecting me replayed in my mind, the fear of him forcing me shot through my veins again which caused my body to shake. Never have I thought that the love of my life would make me feel like this. Never would I expect him to traumatize me so bad, that I cry without noticing. My warm tears wet my cheeks.

"Angel, I'm sorry for what I've done, I-"

"Do you even remember what you did?" I interrupt him, hearing my broken voice caused a shudder over my body. His teary eyes widen, shaking his head while he brushed over his lips with his hand. My breathing was difficult to regulate, my chest was heavy. As if heavyweight pushed against it and squeezed my heart.

"But it... but your throat.. your arm... I- fuck, I'm-" he stutters and pulled the roots of his hair.

I would normally help him but I really wanted him to feel bad for what he did to me.

It shouldn't happen.

"Do you even know how you are like when you're high?" I ask him.

I wanted to oppress my emotions but I felt too much. I felt way too much.

Pain. Fear. Confusion. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Desperation. Sadness. Everything, mixed in my heart. Way too less place to handle that many feelings.

He shakes his head, "I don't remember anything."

If he's always acting the way like yesterday after smoking his drug, then I have a lot of questions. A lot of things I don't understand, "Have you ever cheated on me?"