Sad Poetry from a Happy World

*S*E*X*&*P*A*I*N*

I feel dissatisfied

My brain won't comprehend stuff

I feel like an empty void smushed into a teenage girls body

My muscles are sore

My bones hurt

I'm breaking out

I feel dissatisfied

I want sex

I want to feel and I feel like cutting myself will just make it worse

I want to sweat and convulse and scream with pleasure

I want to forget about all this pain and just feel the soft, sickly sweet grasp of fake love

I want to kiss his lips and ride him to freedom

This poem is very inappropriate

I've tried drugs

I've tried pain

It doesn't work

But through it

I've met friends

People who get me

Understand me

But still, can't fulfill me

I want to be rocked with pain and sharp pleasure

I want to be filled up so that I can't breath

I want to leave my body by becoming one with it

I'm just writing now

Words flow from my dissociated brain to someone else's fingertips

To someone else's world

I'm not here

I am in his bed

I'm not here

I want to be in his head

I want to know him, inside and out

I want to be with someone who understands me

Know someone beyond the extent of their personality

I want to read them like an open book and know them like my favorite movie

I want to be in their head and to know their every move

Our bodies and souls flow so smoothly together that nothing can surprise us

We seem so different

But feel so close

We are the same

Yet opposite

I want to become one with another

Seamlessly integrated through chain link fence

I want him

That's my rant I guess, everything that I want

I'm sinking within myself

I'm unfulfilled

I'm drowning

Everything getting farther away

I'm not here

My stomach churns but I don't control this body

I don't feel it

Or anything

Please help

I want to feel something

I want sex

I've made friends

And allies

And enemies

But in the end

I am here

My choices affect this universe or timeline in one way or another

That I can't help or change

So do with what you have

Do what you love, love what you do

Enjoy life as it goes

Make the best of everything

And love with everything

You have

Guess I did have something to rant about