Cinnamon [COMPLETE] (Unedited)

Learning to breathe again

{Picture above is Iron and Hera}

I wake up because of Irons panting by my head. I groan and lift my head while checking my phone screen.

I must have left my door open last night. It's currently 5.30 am. "Dude,get off my bed" I shove the large dalmatian and with a whine he jumps off the bed.

Sadly,once I'm up I am not one to fall asleep again so I get out of bed as well and with Iron on my heels I quietly walk downstairs and into the kitchen. I turn the coffee machine on and return to my room to get dressed.

When I'm ready I put the harnesses and leashes on all the dogs,grab my coffe and decide to drive and take the dogs on a hike. The physical activity will help clear my mind and it's not like I have anything better to do...

When we reach the hiking path there is no one else outside. It's still too early. I appreciate the quiet though.

After the dogs leashes are off we start walking and the dogs don't leave my side. They are such good puppers.

Excersising clears my head a bit,but recovering is not a one night process. Even breathing is hard knowing he is gone. And right now... I have to learn how to breathe again.

I guess Ethan was right. I need a reason to keep going.

I have yet to find one but I hope I will soon. And that way,I might be able to start healing.

I think I have accepted that he is gone. That he won't walk in my room in the morning to wake me up with a soft kiss. That I'll never see his sweet smile or hear his laugh ever again. I don't like it but I think I accept it.

Right now I'm standing on the edge. I'm ready to cross the line and cut the threads keeping me back. I don't want to but I'm afraid I have to...

I certainly won't forget him. But I need to let go of him. Even when it hurts. Even if I just want to curl on my bed and cry my eyes out.

And some times,simple decisions are the hardest to make.

Sometimes, you know what needs to happen but you ignore it. You have the voice inside your head telling you "This is what you need to do now" but you choose to ignore it. And you think that this solves the problem but it doesn't.

You are not solving the problem by ignoring it, you are just delaying what is bound to happen. You are delaying the inevitable.
You are lying to yourself.

And I'm done lying.

I don't know how,but I will face the problem now. Not tommorow but today. I hate this but I know it's what's best for me and right now, i need to be selfish and think about myself and what is right and good for me.

Even if it seems selfish. Even if it's hard. It needs to be done.

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Smaller chap this time guys...
Sorryyyyyy😔😔😔
I'll try to make the next one longer
Myrt🌊

Btw. Like OMG guys. Cinnamon is
#1 in Pshycology and #12 in Biology. How on earth did that happen???