Breng Me Naar Het Water (English) A Randy Fanfic

D E A R R Y A N

Dear Ryan,

I don't even know where to start.
Words can't describe how much you mean to me.
You have been here since the beginning of RoadTrip and I couldn't be more grateful than to spend all those years with you by my side. From our very first cover, our paths have been entangled into one another.

It eventually lead to where we are now. It seems like a completely new life. Everything is different than what I, we, were used to.

I can't say I'm not happy with how it turned out, because everything turned out to be perfect. No matter how hard things got, you were there to catch me and to fix me again. And I can't express how grateful I am.

Every time I'm sad, I think of you and all the good memories that we share. All those precious moments. From stares, to hugs, to kisses and everything else. I'm grateful for all of that.

I just wish we had more time. I'm sorry I took our time away from you by doing this. You always said I shouldn't apologise for it, but I feel like I do. I am the reason you will be sad and grieving. I'm the reason you always had to keep your eyes open and I'm sorry it had the be like this. I truly am.

What I love about you, is that you don't judge people. Even though I was a complete mess, I still am, you kept seeing beauty in me. You never really cared about whether people were broken or not, you just loved them. And because of you, many people managed to get themselves together.

You're an icon for people, they depend on you, just as you depend on them. I don't think we will ever know what we really meant to fans, such as they will never know what they really want to us. But maybe it's something that shouldn't be known, maybe it's meant to stay a secret.

While I'm writing this, I remember so much of our happy times. I'm sorry that although we had so many happy times, I still couldn't manage to be happy. But this isn't my 'I apologise' letter, so I'll stop apologising.

Remember how much we used to hate each other when we met? We had to act like we liked each other and eventually, we actually did start to like each other. You always said you didn't believe in soulmates and fate, but how do you explain all of this then?

But maybe, just maybe, it's all because of our own choices, just like you always said.

Rye, I wanted to thank you. For being here in my life and for being a supportive friend, not only to me.

Remember when Mikey had his first solo in one of our covers? He was so nervous and you really helped him. After he had sung his part, you were so proud of him. You really gave his confidence a boost.

And with Brook, it wasn't just me who helped him with sorting his love for Jack out. You were being kind and patient with him (for once) and you told him that no matter what would happen, you would be there for him.

You were the first to find out about Jack, you know that? I remember how confused and frustrated he was, having feelings for his best friend. He told me he had come to you first and that you had told him that it was okay to be in love with your best friend. He really looked up to you, he still does. Brook does too.

Again, I don't think you realise how many people care about you. How much they want you to be safe. Many people look up to you, they want to be like you. Always happy and smiling, having an amazing group of friends and living their dream life.

Thank you, Rye, for being the best person you can be. For supporting everyone and raising everyone up. For giving people their confidence and making them feel like people actually care about them. For making people laugh, even though you don't intend to.

Thank you for being my boyfriend, my best friend and an amazing person in general.

I love you and wish you all the luck of the world. Never stop smiling, because your smile lights up this entire, awful world and it makes people feel alive again.

Lots of love and see you on the flip side,

AF