It's been a month since I've been out the hospital and I've been a reclusive puppy ever since I came back to New York. I've been recovering from home away from the cameras and been getting better. I got the stitches from my surgery removed and I've been going to the gym to keep myself in shape. Derek has been there for me so much and seen me at my worst. He held my hair back as I threw up, helped me to the bathroom and held my hand through the pain, sat with me at the doctor's office, held me through my nightmares. We've even took the time to rebuild our relationship these past few weeks.
I'm sitting in bed looking through the mail that's come in when Derek walks in carrying a box of pizza.
"I'm back with dinner."
"You went all the way to Brooklyn to get me Tony's?"
"I mixed the trains on the way back but it was worth it." He kisses me as he sets the pizza down.
"Thank you."
"So how was you day?"
"I actually went outside today."
"Really, where did you go?"
"I went down to the park. I just wanted to breathe and just be in the sun you know. I don't want to be stuck in this cloud you know." I take a slice of pizza and take a bite and I catch him smiling at me."What you staring at?" She says as she chews.
"Nothing. Just miss seeing your smile."
"That's cause there's food in my mouth."
"So now that you're cool with going outside, how do you feel about going back to the studio?"
"I'm not ready yet."
"Music's always been your therapy."
"I just can't get a song out. I've been blocked for the longest and can never finish one."
"Put your pain to paper. What do you got?"
"Just random parts on different pages."
"Then you can build a song. Find the beats and put it together and you'll have it."
"Okay Jermaine Dupri, I'll try that."
"Good, Let's go." He says getting off the bed.
"Wait what?"
"Let's go to the studio."
"Can I finish my pizza?"
"Bring it with you, come on." He holds out his hand to me and I let him pull me up.
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She walks into the booth and Derek was sitting outside with the sound engineer whose running the sound board.
"Can you play track four?"
He turns it on and she sings the chorus of her song. She got to the bridge and she couldn't hit the hook.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this." Derek walks up to the door and comes in with her.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't get it out. My voice isn't the same."
"Just clear your head. Just sing to me." He sits on the stool in front of her and holds her hand.
"Can you play it back?" She told the sound guy and she played it back. She took a deep breathe and just sang to Derek. She let the lyrics come out of her and sang about love and finding that person again. She got in her zone and sang from beginning to end.
"That was great baby." He says to her and kisses her cheek.
"Thank you." She lays her forehead against his.
"I got you." He kisses her forehead and hugs her. She was scared when she came back to the booth but having him her by her side helped her find her voice again.
