lost - joshler ||-//

3 - tyler

TRIGGER WARNING - mentions of negative thoughts and light bullying

~ tyler ~

I walked into the English class right after the teacher. She told me what her name was right after I introduced myself to her in the office but I just didn't listen. As the teacher and I walked into the room, the room fell silent and I started at my feet.

"Hello. I hope everyone has had a nice summer. Before we start the lesson, I have a new student I have to introduce..." I knew that she took a pause from me to introduce myself but I just couldn't get the words out. I couldn't even look up.

You're such a fucking idiot. You can't even say your own name in front of a couple of people. How stupid are you? How hard is it just to say your goddamn name?

My hands were sweaty and I kept playing with the ends of my sleeves, there was a tread that I kept picking but couldn't quite rip it. I must've zoned out because the next thing I hear is giggles and some boy say,

"Huh? What? The emo kid can't speak?" I've been in this class for just about 2 minutes and already had a nickname. Emo kid. I really hoped that wouldn't stick. The teacher told everyone to be quiet and the whole room got quiet again in the matter of a second. I could tell that she had power over the students and wasn't a teacher that someone should mess with. I knew that that was something I should remember.

"Um- Hi... M-my name is... My n-name is T-tyler." I hated how scared I sounded. The more scared I sounded, the more vulnerable I looked. I made myself look like an easy target for everyone. That's how it started out last time. First, they made fun of how shy and scared I got and progressively it got more violent. I didn't want to be thinking about my past right now so I pushed the thoughts out of my head and tried to pay attention to what the teacher was saying to me.

"Next to Josh." Once she said that I looked around the room to find 'Josh'. "The boy with the bright blue hair." My eyes shot at the bright blue and my eyes met his. It was the boy. The boy I bumped into early today. Before I could even start walking towards the end of the classroom, his eyes shot back down. I could tell the confusion in his eyes. I knew how much of a mess I looked right now.

Once I sat down, all I could think about was how much of a freak he probably thought I was. I wondered if he saw the way I flinched when I bumped into him.

From where I was sitting, I could see the whole classroom. As I looked around the room, I could see a couple of people look back at me with a mix of confusion and disgust. It was because of the red marks. I could tell. And to prove that, the boy that made fun of me earlier, looked back at me and said to his friends,

" 'T-tyler' looking like a fucking mess." He said in a mocking tone. Did I really just get a new nickname in a matter of 30 seconds? 'T-tyler'. This is even worse than the last one. I've only said one sentence to the class and I've made myself an obvious target.

"James! That's enough. Detention. I don't tolerate language like this in my classroom."

James. I looked back down at my feet and I knew that I had to remember to stay away from him and his friends.