Wild card

Chapter 27 ♱

Katherine's PoV
No it couldn't be, I thought as I blankly starred at the casket being lowered into the ground.
Black, everywhere I looked there was black, I couldn't escape it.
Family members throwing roses into the hole where the coffin rested, it came my turn to throw my own rose. I unwrapped myself from chases arm and walked over to the hole, starring down at the casket. I held the rose over the hole and released it from my grasp. As it fell a single tear escaped my eye, running down my cheek.

"Thank you for all attending the funeral, I know it would of meant the world to her. Natasha loved each and everyone of you!" Her mother sobbed.
I gulped swallowing my pain as she said Natasha's name. I was still in shock, only last month she had been hospitalised but last week they pulled the plug. Her lungs wouldn't work on their own and there was no sign of recovery. I remember so vividly the day I was told they had to say goodbye. James rang me at around 6:30pm, I had just put Autumn down to sleep and Chase was washing dishes. James's voice was quiet and you could hear he was upset, I got in my car and I flew up to the hospital, tears streaming down my face.

That's when I saw her, lifelessly laid there. Surrounded by family and close friends. Her mum came and wrapped her arms around me, whispering into my ear.
"My baby girl"
I began to sob again. They all left to give me some privacy and alone time with Natasha. I sat by her on the bed, holding her hand tight.
"Natasha, I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I don't want you to leave but the doctors are saying that's better than keeping you here. I love you so fucking much you stupid idiot! I always imagined you and Autumn together, her crazy aunt Tasha, even though you may never meet I will keep you alive in stories and pictures. In my heart you will never leave because your always here, when I'm alone at night I think about you. I miss you already and your not officially gone. I love you." I planted a kiss on her forehead.

I remember waiting for what felt like hours as the doctors turned off her machines. Her mother flung herself at Natasha's dad howling, James rested his head on my shoulder as he sobbed and her other family just held each other and grieved. I had lost my best friend at the age of 19, but the thing that crushes me the most, what keeps me up at night and makes me cry every time I think about it is that she did this on purpose, this was her intention she wanted to die. Yet she didn't come to me for help or James or family but instead she kept this burden to herself and bottled it up until it burst.

Chase wrapped his arm around me as we walked to the car, my black dress traipsing the floor. We drove home in utter silence, I rested my head on the car window as he drove. Autumn was at my mums house for the weekend so there was no need for me anywhere, all I wanted to actually do was curl up in bed and just sleep because I was tired but mostly because I thought maybe if I sleep when I wake up this will be a bad dream.
Of course, death doesn't work like that, no matter how tight you close your eyes.
We got home and I quickly got out of the car and ran to the bathroom locking the door behind me. I leant against the sink and just glared at myself In the mirror. Chase knocked on the door, it startled me.
"Baby, please don't be like this. Do you want to cuddle up on the couch, I'll make tea?" He pleaded
"I'm just gonna get a shower" I replied, turning on the shower.
I heard his footsteps slowly walk away from the bathroom door. I pulled down my dress and got into the shower, allowing the water to wash over my face. What was wrong with me? Everything and everyone who is apart of my life is either inured, dead or their life has gone off the rails! Maybe I'm a curse, a burden. Maybe it should of been me instead of Natasha? At least then everyone else would be happy without me, that's how I feel right now. Useless and a waste of space, the only thing stopping me is Autumn, my love. I wouldn't ever want to leave her without a mother and we all know that chase could go off the rails at any point, imagine what me dying would do? He wouldn't be able to raise Autumn, not that I don't trust him but just that every girl needs a mother.

I got into some pyjamas and dried my hair before opening the bathroom door. I peered my head out to see chase on the couch, sipping a bottle of alcohol.
"Hey.." I grabbed one of the bottles off of the countertop and sat down next to him. He pulled me close and wrapped his arm around me.
"How are you?" He glanced down at me.
I shrugged and sipped my beer.
He kissed my head and squeezed me tight.
"Should we put on a movie?" He suggested, smiling to cheer me up.
I nodded and pulled down a blanket from the back of the sofa, covering myself in it I placed my head on his shoulder.

All I remember was watching my boy by Adam Sandler, I actually smiled a few times at the movie. After that I don't remember anything except waking up the next day in my bed snuggled up under the covers like nothing had happened the day before.

But we both know too well, that didn't happen.

Authors note
Okay basically we just got 2k views on Wild Card! Gracias <3