shoes on powerlines

objection

    you're a ginger aquarius with sad brown eyes and murder on your mind. you're the psycho i see in psychological thrillers, and you're the sociopathic stoner that nobody bats an eye at. the ideal height of a man with american eagle boxers that i glimpse at when you stretch in my jocky period. i mistake the flaws on your skin for broken kisses. always hiding your curls under a beanie; I am enchanted. you speak with confidence and im too afraid to comment so when i vent to you in a cursory read, your confusion is well hidden behind your braces. i wish you saw me in a different way but you have me choking on my words and swallowing them like pills. sometimes a stare at your hands has me dreaming of the feeling of holding them. but you're holding hers.
      her. she's blonde, skinny, and standing at the ideal female height. she is proportional with minimal cosmetics but i can see the sephora foundation wear off when she glares at me. her name reminds me of the small monster high doll i begged my mom to buy me when i was younger. and when i played with her, she went off swallowing sweetness and visiting salons my mom says i don't need. she looks like she doesn't eat, and i envy. i know i must not eat, i should see her as an enemy but she is my role model. i am better than she ever will be, and i will show you next year when my love handles and belly have disappeared. when i finally get so confident that i don't confuse my hellos with i love yous. you will see me in september with long hair, and a figure that she just wishes she could achieve, i. am. better.
      but i sit in awe as i watch you kiss her on the way to my oh so hated class. i see how she's holding you, just how she was holding him last night without your consent. but the same thing happened at the football game you seem to forget. did you lose the memory of seeing her tongue down your best friend's throat? did you lose the strength you had? you make me lose myself better than i ever had. i lay dreaming of being yours and you're hanging out with her while she's holding the senior's hand. and his hand is bigger than a sophomore's, that's why she wants his inside and yours on her thigh. she's been molested by the hands of her "friends". but are they friends if they kiss her the same way you do? i see this but if i tell you, you will blow me off and i need the drugs.
      i need the drugs.
      i need you