My World

chapter twenty three

Stepping into our house all the past memories washed over me.it was packed with people who came for condolences but deep down it seemed lonely. i followed the back door to avoid all the greetings cause i didn't want another fresh tears.i scanned the room looking for a familar face when i was almost knocked down with a hug ,it was halima my baby sister she hugged me tightly crying.first we didn't want to tell her but eventually she would find out someday,i dragged her into our dad's library to avoid all the eyes and pity i met umma there and ya zainab..they were going through abba's old stuffs we joined them on the floor i couldn't look my mother in the eyes cause i was going to end up crying i hugged her from the side while she tapped my head reassuringly.

"Your father has always been sick we just decided not to tell you guys"our mother spoke up softly we could barely hear her she was loosing her voice due to all the crying.we looked at ourselves with a confused looking..

"Remember that time he fell very ill and was admitted?we all nodded remembering the incident

"Well the doctor told us that his heart was failling slowly and he was dying he had maybe a year to live.we chose to keep it a secret from you girls.umma continued talking but i was lost i kept  thinking about all the headaches i caused my dad i poured out another fresh tears,my siblings were wondering why i started crying again only i understood what was going on with me,i cried so much again to the extent that i cried myself to sleep.
I woke up after several hours with a throbbing headache my head felt very heavy,my eyes were weary i started feeling a little dizzy,i tried to stand up but everywhere kept spinning and spinning i felt a constricting pain to my chest as i gasped for air i fell back to the ground and the next thing i knew was i woke up in the hospital again.i tried to stand up as sufyan held my hand for me to sit up i grabbed a bottle of water to drink when the doctor came in to check on me..

"So the mother and baby are both fine"the average looking man in his lab coat spoke while handing sufyan some papers

"Baby??i said nearly choking on my water

"Yes my love i wanted telling you when we got home"he told me patting my back gently

I couldn't control the happiness and joy i felt i started crying again the tears i had poured out of my eyes the past weeks could fill a drum.we were going to be parents,we weren't ready for any responsibility but Allah always had a reason for everything.i got discharged and prepared to leave.sufyan was too excited that he wouldn't let me walk he carried me in his arms to the car all eyes were on us as we walked out i covered my face in shame.he dropped me gently in the car,we got home and he insisted on cooking dinner..while i laid back on the couch with a pillow supporting my neck and arm as i crossed my leg on the table eating the fruit salad he made for me while i waited for my dinner..

"Dinner is served mi lady"he said in a funny british accent,i made room for him to drop the food it was my favourite white rice and vegetable soup

"Why didn't i get pregnant for long with all these special treatment"i said jokingly with a faint smile

"Am glad you're beginning to cheer up"he smiled back pecking my cheeks

I was trying to forget all my worries and relax and i thanked God for blessing me with such a loving husband and the gift he blessed me with also.

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40 days came so fast so soon it seemed like it was just yesterday but it's a month and a half already.we got ready to go home i wore a black bou bou and a nude hijab,i took one glance at the mirror and left.we got home as usual it was packed with people i went straight to my late dad's study to find my mom and siblings.

"Momma i said after my salam and gave her a big hug from the back"i was relived to see that she was slowly recovering tho she lost a little weight and her eyes still looked puffy.i sat down opposite her and kept on staring at her.

"Fa'ai is everything okay with the way you're staring at me like this"she asked me while wiggling her tasbaah in my face.i shook my head replying her

"Are you sure?? Cause you look different"she said looking at me with a suspicious eye.i rubbed my belly shyly trying to tell her i was expecting my first baby,she immidetly understood what i was trying to say the look on her face was priceless she started murmuring Alhamdullilah,mashaAllah with tears in her eyes she got up and danced round the room touching my belly and swaddling her hands in the air as if she's carrying an imaginary baby.ya zainab,stood by the door holding hidaya in her arms while she backed hadiya looking at us smilling we didn't even notice when she came in.

"So mommy she finally told you"she said as she sat down on an arm chair close to her

"Yes my dear,so you knew all these while"umma replied

"Yes she told me the next day she found out"i got up and collected hidaya from her,i sat her on my laps as she played with my fingers.i couldn't stop smilling as i played with her.i imagined myself holding my own child in nine months time...

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