Story Time

4

Lmao I deadass just realized that I was probably talking about 'Fake Love' by BTS in that last chapter.

So in this chapter this is just an opinion of mine that I just need to vent out... sorry about that.

~~~

Don't you just hate it when you tell someone you tried to do something but it didn't work, and they tell you, "Try harder"?

I'm.

In.

Pain.

Agh.

Anyway, I think of myself as a pretty chill person who doesn't get offended or hurt easily. Well, of course I get emotional hurt a lot, but I like to think I don't show it, so it doesn't count?

Well, I only have a few things that can just totally set me off.

1. People who self diagnose themselves with mental illnesses and expect to be pitied and sympathized with. (Yes, I know self diagnosis is dangerous which makes it all the more worse)
2. People who are unnecessarily sensitive and don't understand anything. (Maybe I was harsh in this one, but I'm sorry I can't deal with these types of people *insert sad face*)
3. People who tell me to "do better/try harder" when I've already done my best. There's nothing I can do about it, I've already tried. Yes, I can keep trying, but don't go around telling me that trying my best wasn't good enough.)

The "try harder" is kinda minor, but it's the one I'm going to talk about here. Because it happens too much and too recently. (The other ones will be explained later.)

~~~

"You need to start participating more in class," my mom said suddenly, sitting up straighter in the car seat as we drove home from Saturday school. "All your teachers are saying you don't say much in class."

I sighed. This wasn't anything new. I was always struggling in the socializing area, and I've been getting the same words all my life: speak louder. Speak more. Participate more.

Most of the marks I lose are because I don't participate, and I know this is a big problem that I have to change.

It's coming along much slower than I would like though.

"Yes mom, I'm trying my best, but I'm not good at this, you know that."

"Well try harder."

Have I literally not just said that I'm trying my hardest?

"I can't!" I could hear the exasperation in my voice, and I knew I set her off.

"Stop saying you can't do anything! You never try, and I'm sick of you always saying 'I can't do this, I can't do that'. It's not that hard!"

"It's not that easy!" I was furious and I could feel myself starting to tear up.

"Just do it." My anger just rose even more, but I knew it was smarter to keep my mouth shut.

Why is my best never good enough?

I looked out the window and watched the trees pass by.

When my mom is angry, I can never talk back. She is SCARY and even more stubborn than I am.

I sighed once more, and the rest of the car ride was silent.

~~~

"How was school?" My dad asked as he backed out of the school parking lot.

"The same," I answered. "It's not that great."

My dad laughed. "Mind telling me why?"

"Ugh don't even get me started," I groaned. "For gym I haven't made the best friends. They're the people no one else talks to, so loners just like me."

"How is that bad?"

"It's bad because they're the ones who also don't wanna participate in anything, which has a HUGE effect on my grade, and since I don't talk to anyone else, I'm not able to do anything."

"Well then just don't be friends with them." He gave me a weird look as he laughed.

"It's not that easy! Everyone else already have their friend groups and I never feel welcome."

He just gave me a look, and I turned my head away from him.

I wish I was more social.

I wish I didn't have to be so awkward all the time.

Why do I have to be like this?

I sigh.

"I'll try harder next time."

But I've already tried my hardest.

~~~

Guess what!!!

Your girl went on her first ever camping/hiking trip!!!

Imma tell you all about it...very eye opening.

Both fun and horrible at the same time so yEeeeE.

I'll talk about my other problems later when I feel like it <3

Please comment and vote on this chapter and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of the day💗

Love you guys,
- Audrey