One Family (KOTLC Oneshots)

Sophie taught them WHAT?!

Alden walked through the halls in an attempt to find the kid's room. They had just returned from an undercover trip to the forbidden cities. Alden took a deep breath and pushed open the door and was taken aback with the state of the room. The coed room was scattered with pillows, blankets, snacks, trinkets, and more. Alden had a slight hope they would treat the room a little bit neater rather than treating it as a massive sleepover. Keefe, Biana, Linh, and Dex were engaging in an intense pillow fight. Fitz and Tam were in the corner debating which soda was better between Pixie pop and Jester juice. Sophie was in the corner scrolling through the videos on her device trying (and failing) to hold back smiles. Alden hopped and dodged around the pillows scattered around the room to make it to Sophie.

"I'm surprised you aren't taking part in the pillow war over there," Alden asked Sophie.

"Trust me I want to, but I have something else that I'm working on." Sophie replied with a smile.

"And what is this you are working on?" Alden asked sarcastically.

Sophie's smile suddenly grew dark, like she was plotting something we could never comprehend.

"Not much anymore... now I'm just recording for... um, prosperity!" Sophie replied in a sweet tone.

Please, not another Sokeefe prank. Alden is still trying to get the dye out of his hair from the last one.

"What do you me-" Alden was cut off by Keefe's war cry as he slammed Dex into a stack of pillows. Alden was about to go and see if Dex was okay until he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

"FUC YA CHICKEN STRIPS!" Dex cried out emerging from the fallen pillow stack.

Alden grew pale.

"No..." Is all Alden could think.

Fitz came up from behind Biana and roared causing her to shriek and hit him in the face with the pillow.

"Stop! I could've dropped my croissant!" Biana scolded.

Alden whips around to see Sophie barely able to hold the camera still from her laughter.

"You taught them memes..." Alden asked quietly.

Sophie's evil grin grew back again.

"You asked me to teach them English... I taught them English!" Sophie responded barely able to breathe.

Tam has now grabbed a pillow and nailed Keefe right in the head. Keefe fell to the floor faking a miserable death.

"OOH. Get out the way!" Tam chided stepping over Keefe's dramatic death. Tam turned to face Linh. She was backed up against the wall with a pillow swinging around her head.

"Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side!" Linh cried out, swinging her pillow around her head. She then let out the best war cry you would ever hear as she chucked the pillow at her brother's head nailing him right in the face.

Linh turned to Biana who just finished nailing her own brother in the stomach with a pillow. Sophie decided to take the opportunity to narrate.

"These two best friends now face off in the final battle of this 23-minute war." Sophie narrated in a fake, monotone voice.

"Who will win and who will fail miserably and never hear the end of it from us?" Keefe chimed in with a similar monotone voice.

"Honey, you've got a big storm comin'" Linh swore from across the room.

Biana chuckled and looked up dramatically.

"I won't hesitate bitch."

Biana then took the opportunity to throw her pillow at top speeds at Linh, properly knocking Linh over. Alden took the opportunity to try for the door when Fitz suddenly blocked the door. Everyone turned to look at Alden with a smile. Fitz only muttered four words.

"Hi, welcome to Chili's."