You're beautiful to me ||Frerard + Petekey||

Chapter ten: And the lights that we fade in

Four days. It had been four consecutive days that Gerard had worn long sleeves. Normally, that wouldn't concern Frank, but he very much knew Gerard, and that the other hated wearing long sleeves especially in the heat. Frank personally didn't mind long sleeves too much, but they made his arms look kinda funny in them, so he preferred short sleeves mostly. Gerard had noticed Frank's clothes seemingly getting bigger and bigger on him, but- that's another narrative. For now, all Frank could focus on was the fact that Gerard was currently pulling his sleeves over his hands in the middle of their conversation, clearly trying to hold them down.

"And so I asked him to stop, and he gave me this really annoying-"

"Why are you wearing long sleeves?" Frank interrupted, not caring that he was doing so.

"W-What?"

"You've been wearing long sleeves for the past four days straight. I wanna know why."

"No specific reason."

"You can't lie to a liar, sweetheart. Nice try." Gerard seemed to simultaneously blush and grow pale at the comment. He scooted away from Frank a bit subconsciously, the cold, pavement, patio steps hissing a little bit in the way they always did when something moved across them. Frank sighed and didn't hesitate to move right over to Gerard, rolling the other's sleeves up quickly without waiting for any consent to do so. What Frank was met with was different than his concerns, but no better. Gerard's wrists and forearms were covered in claw-like marks, clearly made by himself. He'd clawed at his own skin with his fingernails relentlessly, and this was just the sickening reminder of it. Frank opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, Gerard instead pulling his arm back and starting before Frank could muster something to say.

"Before you ask, I didn't....I wasn't trying to, uh-"

"Gerard."

"Frank?"

"Gerard. Calm down."

"I-I can't." Tears spilled down the other's face rapidly, Gerard's body quaking as his simple tears turned to sobs. He sobbed, holding his arm close to his chest, and Frank instinctively wrapped his arms around Gerard. He cried into Frank, letting his tears fall as he wrapped his arms around Frank's waist and, before he knew it, he was crying even more out of concern. Concern for Frank, of course, because how much bone he could feel from Frank's midsection was not natural. It was almost like there was simply nothing there; like bones, and clouds around it that Gerard could reach right through. It felt like he was hugging a skeleton. It felt like he was hugging someone already dead. And that scared him more than he'd ever like to admit.

X o x o x o

When Pete has showed up at school that day, Mikey already looked pissed.

"You look like hell."

"I just got back." Pete replies, giving Mikey some quick fun fingers, which the other didn't seem impressed by.

"I'm not joking. Did you take care of yourself at all? Do I need to take care of you? Trust me, you don't want to listen to me screaming at you to eat your borsch, Pete."

"You, Mikeyway, are the weirdest person I know. And I love you for that."

"Answer the question, Peter."

"Ooh. What did I do to deserve the Peter? And yeah, I did. I just didn't sleep well is all."

"Have you been doing okay?"

"I've been doing great." Pete said like a liar, straight through his teeth. He'd lied right to Mikey's face, who didn't buy it for a moment, but didn't press Pete on it.

"Alright. I believe you." Another lie, but who's keeping track anyway? "...But are you sure? You know I'm always here for you, man." Mikey actually looked genuinely concerned, which struck Pete in the heart, because it was very rare these days, besides the everyday worries the other possessed.

"Yeah. Of course."

Mikey knew he was lying. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it. Pete was definitely not doing well. Pete always tended to be a....martyr of sorts. He would always push his issues aside in conversation to talk about everyone else's, and by the time it reached his, everyone would've forgotten. He had been there for Mikey in some of his worst times, and yet, he hardly let down his walls enough to talk to Mikey. Letting down your walls will never not be tough, but he expected it after their friendship had been going strong for so long. Mikey would sell his soul, just for a peek at what lived inside of Pete's head. Although, the demons that ran rampant in Pete's brain scared even him. If there's monsters inside of his head, what's to say he isn't a monster too?

Mikey understood having monsters too. He understood what it was like to fear your insides, to not want to close your eyes just in case they were waiting just for you to do that, to wonder why everything had to be like this. But alas, he didn't know how to even put that into words in the first place. How would he even explain it? He often started stuttering when he got nervous, and even as he was trying to change the subject since Pete had brought up his anxiety, he could hardly get past a word before stuttering.

"Yeah...yeah. So I, um, u-um....j-jesus c-christ."

"Are you okay, Mikeyway?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm...I'm...I'm fine."

"You sound like a broken record, which I don't count as fine."

"I-I'm just....anx-anxious, P-Pete."

"Oh." He repositioned himself so he was right in front of Mikey and held the other's hands, gently rubbing circles onto the back of them with his thumbs. "Breathe, Mikeyway. It's gonna be okay."

"Shu-shut up, Pete."

"No you. You just need to breathe."

"Did you seriously just say the 'no u' thing out loud?"

"Yes, I did. And it apparently worked, since you're no longer stuttering." Mikey took a really deep breath, some of his bleached-blonde hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at Pete (seeing as he was much taller).

"Thanks, Pete. You're great."

"Oh, don't worry. You don't have to tell me. I already know."

"Aaaand there it is."

"Come on, Mikeyway. You know me." The two started walking through the halls to class, although Pete never let go of Mikey's right hand, and he could feel his heart beating in his ears the entire way to class; the only problem was, Pete probably didn't feel the same way. Probably.