Into You (Luke Hemmings x Male Reader)

Chapter One

Prologue

                     Luke's Point of View

The sunlight was right in my face as I woke up this morning. Too bright, especially today after the night I had. One too many drinks turned into two then three and four too many. The pounding in my head wasn't letting up, my body still ravaged from the night of drinking I had. I reached out over the grey sheets, feeling for him. But he wasn't there. The spot where he was laying last night was cold, not a trace of him there. I tried to recall if he had left last night, but I distinctly remember him laying into bed next to me. Memories of the night we shared, hiding ourselves away at the party. We had to, it was the only way we could be together. My mind going crazy, but soon becoming completely blank. My apartment was dead-silent to the point that I could hear a pin drop. He must have left during the night, then.

I know it's not fair to him, but it's all far too risky. Everyone else has their own vision of me and who I am. They see the front I put on rather than the real me. For all they know I'm as straight as they come. I'm lying every night when I go on stage and I'm lying every day in the studio. Even walking down the street or in regular conversation I'm lying. I would give up everything I have in a heartbeat to make him happy. The way we are doing things right now isn't working for either of us and I know it. And I know he knows it, too. Sneaking away, hiding and isolating ourselves to be together. Like a modern day Romeo and Juliet, but with two Romeos and no Juliet.

I tried all I could to relieve the aching in my brain, but no amount of painkillers could alleviate it. There was just a constant pounding in my brain like something was trying to bash its way out of my skull. Though the pain in my head was excruciating it was nothing compared to the hurt in my heart. The yearning, longing feeling that had crept its way in and showed no signs of leaving. Agonizing thoughts began to creep their way into my once static mind. Was this worth it? What's there to life if you can't be honest with the world? What's there to life if you can't be honest with yourself?

I was doing my best to carry on with my day and do what I needed to while still managing the cruel headache and the ruthless pain in my heart. It's hard but it's normal to me. I always do this: get into the position where I love somebody but we can't love each other. But this time is the worst of all. I'm head over heels in love with another man and I can't tell anybody about it. It's like I'm a skeleton in my own closet in a way. I'm hidden in here all alone, waiting for somebody to open the door and let me out. But the only person who can open that door is me and I'm locked from the inside. I want to be free more than anything in the world. I know I need to be honest to everyone but honesty comes with a price. I could potentially lose people I love due to the people that I find myself falling in love with. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I yell from the rooftops that I love him? Why does it feel like my love is a scandal that I'm hiding from everybody?

It's not fair.. I just wanna be me.