Into You (Luke Hemmings x Male Reader)

Chapter Three

Luke's Point of View

         It's been days since I've heard from him. He's not returning my texts or my calls. Memories of what we said on the balcony flashed back in my mind. Could that be why he's not talking to me? Doesn't he realize that I'm trying? That I want us to work out?

        I'm worried sick about him. Though I know it's not likely, I can't help but think that something bad might have happened to him. If only I wasn't such a pussy about my feelings. If only I didn't insist on hiding our relationship from everyone. If only the situation were different and it wasn't so difficult for me to come out, then we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

         A knock on my door pulled me out of what was once an endless web of worry that was weaved in my mind. What was someone doing here this late? It's like midnight and it's pitch black outside. Confused, I walked over to the door and opened it.

         It was him. After not seeing him for so long, I instantly let him in and closed the door behind him before pulling him into my chest.

        "I've been worrying about you."
       "I'm sorry I didn't answer you, I've just been thinking about everything," He pulled away from my grasp, his hands on my shoulders, "We need to talk."

        He had barely said anything and I already felt dread fill my body. Please don't let this be about what I think it's about. Not now.

       "We can't keep doing this. It's not working. We can't keep hiding, Luke. I love you so much, why can't the world know?" His eyes were darkened with sadness laced throughout.

      "You already know why. We don't know what they'll say or what they'll do to us. I want this just as much as you do, believe me. But it's too risky."

      "You know, I'm taking all of these risks for you. Why can't you do this for me? Am I not worth it to you?" His words were heavy as they were thrown at me, they hit me like a bus. The fact of the matter is that I know that all of my actions were coming off that way even though they were never intended to. He's more than worth it. He's worth the world, no, he's worth the universe. I want to be open about myself, open about loving him but I can't be. And he knows that.

         "You're worth it, but I can't do this. I would give anything to be able to. I would give up everything I have for you."

        "It sure doesn't feel like it if you keep fucking lying to everyone." Oh, great. I just had to go and make him mad. Here we go.

         "Do you not understand that this is hard for me, too?" I didn't mean to come off as mad and rude as I did. He flinched as my tone became more pointed. Fuck, what am I doing?

"If it's so hard for you, why are you fine with this happening? Do you not realize what you're doing?" He sounded just as heated as I did. As much as I don't want this to turn into a full blown fight, I know it's going to.

"Who ever said I'm fine with it? Did ever occur to you that I'm sick of hiding, too?" I fired back. It was like it wasn't going through his mind that this is hurting me. The harsh reality was that it was likely hurting him more. He's never been in a situation like this before, I have. I can't blame him for feeling this way but he's not hearing me out.

"If you're so sick of it, why are we still doing it. Am I worth the risk?" He stared intently at me. I stayed silent and he began to speak again.

"Luke, answer the god damn question. Am I worth the risk?" His voice was a like mixture of pain and anger. I couldn't answer, my mind was going a mile a minute. We were both silent but the look in his eyes said everything I needed to know. They were screaming at me, telling me how disappointed he was with me.

What a lovely little mess I made. The one person in the world that I want to spend the rest of my life with probably hates me now and it's all my fault. His gaze shifted as did his body as he made his way to the door.

"No, don't leave." I walked after him, grabbing his shoulder. He turned to look at me, staring sharply into my eyes before he spoke up again.

"Then answer my question."

But I couldn't. I couldn't answer his question. Even though he was fully worth the risk infinite times over, I know that if I told him that he would force me to act on it. Have me out myself to the world. But I'm not ready for that yet and he knows that. Why was he pressing into it this hard if he knew that I wasn't ready?

That wasn't the only thing that I wasn't ready for. I could only watch on as he pulled away from me. My heart began to sink as he walked out of the door without looking back.