Into You (Luke Hemmings x Male Reader)

Chapter Seven

Luke's Point of View

           Last night was a mixture of liberating and horrifying to say the very least. It was amazing being able to see him, to have him by my side all night. The kisses on the patio lingered in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about how his lips felt against mine, how freeing it felt even through all the anxiety of being caught. I lucked out with it being Calum who found us, I knew that he wouldn't bring it up to anybody but there was still that bit of anxiety in the back of my mind that was saying that he had told everyone.

           He hadn't told everyone, though. He kept it to himself like I knew he would.

        'Hey man, how drunk were you last night?' The text from Calum read, sent at some time near noon. Does he think that I was drunk and that's why I was kissing him?

'I didn't drink last night, why do you ask?'

I felt a pang of anxiety hit me like a pile of bricks. Nothing but fear and loathing the question I knew was going to come.

'Well because I saw you making out with a guy. Are you gay, Luke? There's no judgement here, you're like a brother to me. No matter what I love and support you.'

Calum's question was something I had been dodging for years. I've been running from it since I found out what the word meant because I knew the consequences that could come with it. Losing friends, family, opportunities. When I came to the realization that I like men, it was one of the hardest things I've had to learn to accept about myself. It's been my little secret for 22 years, the only person that knows the truth was my boyfriend. It's time for that to change. Calum has made it clear that he's allied, I have nothing to fear here. I can do this.

'I guess there's no simple way to say this but yes, I am gay. I like boys. I'm sorry I've been keeping this from you for so long, I hope you can understand why I did.'

      It was emotional typing it out, to say the least. It was my first time actually saying those three words to anybody. My heart pounding out of my chest, breath heavy. I nervously awaited his response, trying to calm myself down by taking deep breaths. Reassuring myself that he said there was no judgment, it wasn't enough to completely set my soul at ease but it was enough to avoid me all-out hyperventilating.

       'I get why you didn't come out sooner, mate. I'm happy that you told me, so now I don't have to keep pressing you to get a girlfriend.'

       'Yeah, I would rather you not force a girlfriend onto me when I already have a boyfriend.' 

      I hadn't ever told anybody about him. Calum was going to be the first to know, and he's already proven himself multiple times over that he was the perfect candidate to be the first to find out.

'I'm happy for you man. Love who you love.'

The heavy feeling in my chest lightened. The sensation I've been trying to shake off for so long had begun to cease, though not entirely. A major weight was lifted off my shoulders right then and there. This, this is huge. A major step in the right direction. A leap forward in being able to love my boyfriend without hiding us away from everyone. This is going to be hard, but I have to tell everyone. If I don't, he could leave me. I can't let that happen, I just can't.