All These Years

Chapter 10

The next morning, the sun arose radiant and red over a few shorter buildings in the distance, painting the sky beautifully with pinks, reds and oranges. However, I was alone again. I lay covered in white linen thinking about the night Shane and I had shared. An intimate relationship was the type of relationship I never expected to share with him but I wasn't complaining at all. He was so caring with how he treated me. The door opened behind Shane's bed and he strolled in wearing a pair of black sweatpants and no shirt on his very well defined chest.

" I made you coffee love." He told me sitting down in the bed next to me.

" oh thank god." I said smelling the aroma of coffee beans filling the room as I nestled into his chest.

" so I was thinking of showing you around the building today if you'd like. Sorta fill you in on the entire organization I run. Would that be something you'd be interested in seeing for yourself?" He asked with trepidation coating his words.

" Shane please don't worry about how I'm going to take anything that you show or tell me. I may not know details yet, but I know what you do for a living. I'm not going to go running for the hills just because you tell me some aspect of this life. I understand what I'm signing up for." I told him with conviction. 

" and you're sure? Even if I tell you I've done some pretty bad things?"

I couldn't help but feel bad for Shane in that moment. I was sure some of those 'bad things' he was referring to had to be things he wasn't proud of. Or maybe he was proud of them just not telling me. He was the bad guy in the story. To most everyone he was the villain in the narrative. But to me, to his crew, he was a good man who lived a dangerous life.

" even though you think your the villain, Shane, you're not to me. I'm here for everything you're apart of and for you. Even if you're proud of everything you've done, I want to be the person that you share all your victories with. Tell me about the organization, please, I want to know it all."

A smile unfolded on his face and I knew that I had told him exactly what he was hoping to hear.

" the entire organization is involved in many different aspects. We don't rob banks, I used a crew as a favor to someone. All they knew how to do was rob banks. It was foolish on my part, we don't do that because its too public. But I owed someone a favor." He leaned back into the headboard getting comfortable. " we deal weapons to other countries mainly and high end buyers here in the states. I haven't so much anymore but I also have done quite a few contract kills. Only terrorists who have killed countless amounts of people.
" We also have quite a few gambling rings that we manage.We have a few gambling tables down a few floors actually but things will be changing and moved now that you will be coming and going out of the building. I do not want you running into any of the unsavory people that those tables bring in. We also have bookies all around town. We take bets on sports games mostly, a few horse races things like that."

I knew that him telling me all of this took a lot of trust on his part. Trust that I wouldn't open my mouth and run to the cops,trust that I wouldn't leave him for all of it. He finally turned and looked at me.

" I'm probably the best person to protect you in any given situation with the skills I've acquired over all this time. But I'm also a very dangerous person to be linked to. Does knowing that I've killed people affect anything between us?" His steel gray eyes searched my face for apprehension.

I never let my eyes leave his as I assured him " I look at the calluses on your hands and I know you are skilled with a gun. I know that your hands are stained with blood that only you can see but I trust your hands completely, I trust you completely. I know that you'd never hurt me. I've been hurt at the hands of another and I know what that's like. You may have killed people but you'd never lay a hand on me in a violent way. That I know in my soul." I leaned over and kissed his stubble covered jaw line.

" I never stopped loving you Thea." He whispered
" the time between us never changed anything. After all these years I still feel everything when your next to me. I knew that I wasn't just holding onto a memory when you came storming in my office. Every single feeling and emotion came flooding back like a damn had broke."

" After all this time?"

" Always"

" I was so hurt and so mad at you but when I saw you standing there I knew that all that time trying to forget you and how I felt about you was all for nothing. It's always been and always will be you Shane."

He kissed me intensely and I matched his eagerness.

We spent the day touring the entire building. It had been completely cleared out of everyone making it feel like a beautiful ghost town. Half way through the tenth floor Hampton had joined us on our tour. I could tell he brought out a side of Shane I hadn't seen since high school. His comical side. Hampton made everyone laugh I assumed, he acted like it was his mission to make the mood light.

Around four that evening, I decided as much as I hated to I needed to head home for a while, promising my return for dinner. Shane dropped me off at the front door of my building, kissing me softly before driving off once I walked through the door.

I opened the door to my apartment, dumping my keys and purse on the couch. I was drained by everything I'd taken in. I stripped on my way to my bathroom leaving clothes as a trail behind me. Finding the perfect temperature of more hot than cold water, I climbed in gently sliding down the slick white tiles.

Steam filled the bathroom as I sat in the bottom of the bathtub pulling my knees to my chest and resting my chin atop them. My thoughts were plenty, my Brain muddled as I sat there under the stream of scorching water. Taking a deep breath filling my lungs with hot steam I closed my eyes and let the steam clear my mind. 

The man I loved ran a crime syndicate. While he seemed completely normal and extremely caring I knew he had a side I'd never seen before. I was sure that bodies lined a trail behind like my clothes had only moments before yet I trusted him with my life. What did that say about me? Wouldn't the average person be running for the hills? Dialing the police the first moment alone?

However here I was sitting in my shower calm, the thought of police causing a wave of nausea to roll through my intestines. The thought of spilling what i know to the authorities would mean a life without the one person I love the most in the world. I couldn't imagine him behind bars. So what did that say about me? I felt so conflicted. Not between choosing Shane and this life or turning him in. No I was conflicted about how it made me feel to be so ok with everything I had learned.

I wiped the water drops, steam and condensation off the glass shower door to look at the clock hanging above the light switch. I had spent 2 hours in the shower stuck in my thoughts. I quickly washed my hair and body and turned the water off. Grabbing a towel of the hanger I dried off and wrapped a second towel around my head to dry my hair.

Walking into my bedroom I let my fatigue over take me.  I crawled under my down comforter still wrapped in my towel quickly fading into a deep sleep. I had meant to set an alarm to get ready for dinner but I was so exhausted I completely forgot to.

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Sorry I took so long to update!!
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