All These Years

Chapter 5

I couldn't get my apartment clean enough, or brush my teeth enough times. I kept fidgeting while I waited for Shane to arrive.

Finally he knocked on the door and my heart seemed to stop beating.

I stood in place for a moment then went to open it. His beautiful face was smiling at me with a package of Oreos in one hand and a bottle of white wine in the other.

" I wasn't sure what you drink so I figured I'd wing it. But I knew the love of Oreos couldn't have gone anywhere."

He walked in and set the double stuff Oreos, definitely my favorite, on the table and looked around.

" You rent your own apartment in New York. You must have been listening in economics class"

" It's definitely been work, but I," I paused a moment "answer me another question"

He leaned against the counter "anything"

" You said you new I had been to the hospital. You have this order out to protect me. Don't you know almost everything about my life?"

" No. I tried my hardest to stay out of that aspect of the order. I didn't want to know where you lived or worked, honestly it would've been impossible to stop myself from going to find you. I left the entire aspect of your detail up to Finn. He in turn put Hampton in charge of you.
" Hampton was the only reason I knew about you being in the hospital. He felt I should know. Finn didn't want me to know. He thought it would open something up and cause a weakness."

" So you did know about my ex?"

" No. Hampton only told me you had been injured and were in the hospital. He wouldn't tell me what happened. I could tell it was a punch to the face when I saw you storm into my office. I've punched enough people to know what that kind of bruise looks like"

" So after I told you? What happened to my ex?"

" He won't be back to the city. He actually had a warrant for his arrested on assault and battery charges in another state. And what's funny is for some reason he went right back there. They picked him right up from the airport." The smirk spread across his five o'clock shadow filled in every blank in my head. Jason had been forced to go back to that state I was sure. Honestly I wasn't complaining he got what he deserved, prison. " he was given an option of course, face my wrath or go back there. He chose wisely, I would have killed him and he knew that."

" I had no idea!" My statement had double meaning to me. I had no idea that Jason was a felon. I also was unaware just how capable Shane was at handling things.

He pushed himself off the counter and advanced towards me " I didn't think you did love, What movie are we watching?"

The way he called me Love made my stomach do flips. We sat on the couch and turned on a movie but neither of us payed attention to it. We had enough conversation to keep us busy. We tried our best to get caught up on each other's lives during the past six years. Hearing about his close relationship to Finn, Hampton and his twin sister Harley did make me jealous. I hated that I had missed out on so much of his life when we had at one time been so close.

The movie lulled in the background as the night wore on, stuffed on oreos and tipsy off good wine.

" Tell me about your ex" Shane said barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Those years were bad for me. I wasn't myself, I was desperate to be loved and needed and I hated myself for it. I tugged my hair into a bun and sighed.

" Because I know you, well, the old you. And I know that the old Thea would never allow somone to treat her like that. I need to know what caused it." There was a long pause as I thought about his words then his steel bluish grey eyes locked with mine " I need to know it wasn't because of me." Despair dripped off his words and I knew he was hurting.

" Shane, I don't know what you really want me to say. I hurt for a long time missing you. It changed how I accepted love. I knew what I had with Jason wasn't love, but I felt like what choice did I have? You didn't want me. I didn't want to actually love anyone else."

His hand slowly found mine. I noticed how this palms were rough in certain spots and I silently wondered if it was from years of pulling a gun like he had that snowy night he had taken me back to his office. his eyes marveled at our hands interlocked together then made their way up my body to meet my eyes. The air between us felt electric and I never wanted him to stop looking at me the way he did.

I watched his jaw clench like he was thinking, then he took his hand from mine and moved his body to face me. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. Ever so slowly he caged me between his muscular arms causing me to lean back and held his weight above me as he leaned over me. I forced my eyes to focus on him as he slowly lowered his lips to my neck.

His lips were fire against my skin. Lighting tiny fires as he trailed up my neck to my ear. I couldn't breathe. He leaned back to look me in the eyes then moved one hand to cup my face and tilt it up towards him. I counted the seconds till his lips touched mine.

1 second I've waited for this moment for so long
2 seconds I couldn't believe it was actually happening now
3 seconds kiss me

Finally I felt as our lips met and I knew this was all I wanted forever. He kissed me so lightly at first and my eyes closed. I pushed my face up into his needing more of him. He responded by kissing me deeper, his hand snaking into my hair. I never wanted to come up for air if this was what kissing Shane Dillinger was going to be like.

He started to pull away and I instantly felt everywhere our bodies no longer touched. Finally he was sitting on the other side of the couch completely separated from me. Then he stood up and walked to my front door.

" I should go Thea."

" Shane there's something I need to tell you." He looked at me so intently I almost lost my nerve, " I appreciate that you've fought all this time to keep me safe and out of your world because of the dangers, I truly do. But now I'm making my own decisions, and they are the right decisions because I have known life without you and I've know life with you. I know what you do and I know the risks. I'm choosing you Shane, I'm choosing your life and I'm choosing everything about it. I want you and that's all that matters."

He pushed off the door and quickly closed the gap between us. He answered with his lips against mine once more. He kissed me like he was making up for the past and I lost myself against his firm body.

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