i gotta figure out how
to get you outta my
head because what
we had was nothing
and will never be
anything and the
only real reason that
i thought we had
any semblance of
something was because
you were the first
girl to speak to me
in honey tones with
deep summer air and
flaming stars dangling
in between us like
our feet in the pool,
and yes, i know
i keep coming back
to that moment,
the pool
and our feet
and our hands
and summer air
and a galaxy
of possibilities hanging
above us. you were the
first and i didn't know
how to process, how to
deal with me and you
and my hopeful heart, so
it stuck in my mind. i have
to remind myself that
just because something
was first doesn't make
it special. things have
to earn the title of
special and you
didn't. you were the
first girl to pay me
the attention i didn't
know i had been craving
for so long, but you
certainly won't be
the fucking last.
