memoirs; oneshots

i love you heaps (chaennie)

1. idfc // blackbear

[ chaennie - hurt, sensual & angst ]

trigger warning!
...

the strong citrus covering of cigarette smoke that quickly displeased me hang into the room the moment I stepped in. wait i know that scent, it has been on my skin before. strongly flavorable yet dangerous, i hate it but before i could fully furnish my thoughts a strong familiar pair of feline eyes under a dark eyeliner greeted me, "hey."

oh shit. not her. again.

"jennie." i spoke with nonchalance as i saw her sitting on my study desk, "miss me?" her shameless voice just leaves me breathless sometimes. "get out of my desk." i demanded as i found myself annoyed. "you're more pissed off since the last time i saw you." she chuckled at me "i don't think any person would like to see someone smoking in their own room." i prompted.

"correction." she paused, "it's our room" I then felt puzzled. "i kicked your nerdy roommate out so we could hangout some more." she stated as she released a puff out in the air. a groan of annoyance could only escape from my lips "what are you trying to do? ruin my life?!" irritation was obvious.

"maybe, but with some fucking involve." her complacent behavior was getting on my nerves.

" i don't fuck girls. especially you." i retorted.

"you don't know that, darling." she spits her audacity.

"well i'd rather stay that way." i compelled.

"that's a pretty homophobic thing to say."

"i hate you." i vigored.

"but you love my persistency." i could only stay silent and stab a stare at her back. i wasn't sure pf what to say, she somehow managed to shut me up. and i hate that, because it shows how she affects me.

"come on, chae. i was kidding." now she knows im upset.

"that's the thing you always say instead of an apology."

"and what do i need to apologize for?"

"everything. you joke around about fucking me and kissing me and you think it's not a big deal."

"well, it shouldn't be because you're straight, right?"

"but people doesn't think about that when you stick around me everyday."

"oh now you have a problem with me being gay?"

"no. i didn't say that." i compelled.

"come on, chae stop with the vanity, you're too good to care about their misjudgments."

"can you just stop?!" a surprising fury was burning in my lungs. jennie stoned. "stop what?" she asks.

"like just stop making my life so complicated. everyone hates me, jen. just because we hang out too much." I impelled. you see, jennie her has the most fucked up social status i've ever encountered. despite of her being harsh and a bully to most people in the campus, she's still adorned by the overall population. everyone seems to revolve around her. she doesn't have a squad nor a set of plastic bestfriends at her back. she was a league of her own. the most popular of them all. 

"can you like try and stop talking to me for once? stop waiting for me in the hallway. stop eating lunch with me. and stop staring at me across the classroom. i don't want this shit anymore." I continued.

she suddenly advances towards me, so slow and burning, "do you hear yourself right now?" she was close. dangerously close. that her scent was suffocating my nostrils.