Rivals Or More? A SasuNaru Story

Chapter 18 Darkness

Sasuke's POV

There is darkness everywhere. I can't see beyond it. I am drowning in it. Drowning in my tears. I don't know how long I stay there, surrounded by the stained wooden flooring and the two lifeless bodies lying in front of me.

I feel so much pain. It's cutting through me. My heart feels as though it has been stabbed several times, puncturing it with so many holes, that I don't feel it has a chance of healing. The feeling is so all-consuming, the pain spreading like a black fire. A fire that can't be extinguished.

Losing everything in just a few minutes, but feeling as though the pain was eternal.

Mom, dad... I get flashes of mom's bright smile and dad's stern but affectionate look, but then shivers rack my body. Even as I try to think of them, it all is shadowed by flashes of them getting cut ruthlessly by a sword, blood spraying everywhere; creating a gruesome sight on such beautiful people. The people, who are my life, end up with with pale, lifeless eyes; still, unmoving bodies, dried blood decorating their clothes like a nightmare. The images stay stuck to my mind. Nothing else comes forward.

I need to focus on nothing else other than hatred. It is blooming like a bacteria, multiplying till I can't feel anything else. Numb to all else. Nothing matters now. I have nothing.

I am curled up, trying to ignore the emptiness and loneliness I feel. My eyes are clenched shut, trying to wipe away the images that keep haunting me. The blood makes me nauseous and horrified and weak. So much blood. Blood is everywhere. I feel as if I am drowning in the blood. Thick and dark. Time is of no essence as I stare at the wooden floor with dry eyes, tears not willing to fall. I feel dead like those that I lost.

I am still keeping my eyes tightly shut, hoping desperately that when I open them, none of this will be real. Hope is the only emotion I want to feel. But I know that reality is as cold and unwanted because I can still feel the hard floor beneath me, the silence threatening to deafen me. The very air I breathe suffocating me. It now has a heaviness in it. The smell of death overwhelming and making the reality even more cruel than it already is.

I want some light. No, I crave light right now. The depression is clogging and if I don't get some light soon, I will get pulled under the darkness. And... Lose the will to live anymore.

I wait and wait for something to happen. Something, anything, to save me out of this crushing nightmare. But it doesn't. Still under shock, I can't move. Moving is a big task right now. Soon, the darkness closes in as I feel the dark, dark, emotion creeping inside me. His words keep bouncing in my head.

"Keep building your hatred." That part sticks like glue in my head. Now I feel hatred starting to build up. Resentment. It takes me further away from light and pushes me to the other side.

Something takes over me and I grab a kunai from it's holder that I keep for practice. The metal feels cold in my palm as I bring it with shaky but practiced hands to a vital spot on my wrist. I am about to slash it, when a bright smile and twinkling blue eyes appear before my eyes. The light momentarily chases away the darkness and I savour the warmth I feel while thinking about the blond. The black fog in my head is starting to get clearer now.

I am surprised to feel such way. I may have not noticed the warmth I felt before. It may have been because right now the feeling is highlighted due to the darkness. It was present all along, but I never realized to what extent I cared for the idiot until now.

And it scares me.

It scares me, because the amount of emotions I feel for him is not measurable.

It scares me, because I think that I will do anything for him if he wants me to. Anything. No matter what it is he asks.

It scares me, because what if he doesn't feel the same way? Whom will I have then?