Nobody's

Chapter 17: Hope

The ride back home was even more silent than before. Michael didn't try to break the silence and I was way too occupied with my thoughts to attempt to speak again.

"Why did you tell me about the accident?" He asked, parking next to my car.

His question was the same I'd been asking myself for the past 10 minutes. He only told me his mom got sick yet I opened up to him so much. I just couldn't shake away the look on his face as he spoke about it, every word he said seemed to cut him deeper than the one before. I owed it to him. He had to know he wasn't the only one hurting even though he was way better at hiding it than me.

I sighed, "I had to."

I climbed out his car without another word.

.....

"...stop trying to run from it." Michael words refused to leave my head while I showered. Running wasn't something I did intentionally it was just instinct. Running was easy, it made certain I never felt the harshness of the truth. It was easier to come up with something in my head and run with it than to actually ever sit and discuss it. But it gets harder every time and now it seemed I wasn't running fast enough or any at all.

Stepping back into my room the first thing that caught my eyes was Michael's jacket at the top of my hamper. I was so busy with my thoughts that I hadn't remembered to give it back to him. His scent was very much present as I hung it in my closest. It was faint cologne scent that I couldn't get enough of, I would've buried myself in it if given the chance to. Every breath I took of it I felt my lungs thanking me but my brain scolding me for being so weird. When I was done sniffing it like a crazy lady I made a mental note to grab it before leaving for school tomorrow.

I glimpsed at my phone to see 10 messages. Scrolling down the list of "I hope you're ok" messages from Kacy and Alexandra, I couldn't help but tossing the device on my bed. I loved them both but I wasn't feeling the need to explain anything to them, not now at least. They really do care though, i wasn't even talking to them yet they were blowing up my phone.

"This is you running away....again." My subconscious said, "You're running from talking to them because you're afraid of having to hear about Tiffany." She's annoying but truthful.

I sighed in defeat, reaching for my phone to respond to both of them.

"I'm fine."  I forwarded to them. Two words were better than none, take it or leave it.

I tossed the phone back to my side and listened as they replied. I already texted them once today there was no way I would reply to those new messages, I'm not running from having to talk to them instead I'm taking baby steps till I muster the courage to actually stop moving away.

In efforts to distract myself I took up my Biology textbook and started studying for my upcoming test.

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My alarm went off at it's usual time pulling me from my nightmare. My pillow was drenched with sweat and so was my entire body. I felt a burning sensation slowly leaving my chest as it raised and fell in an unhealthy manner. It took my breathing awhile for it to go back to normal and when it finally did I rolled out of bed already dreading the day ahead.

While I observed my reflection in the mirror I noticed the dark circles were somewhat fading, attempting to hide what was left of them I applied a small amount of concealer. I threw on a brown knitted sweater, a pair of jeans and some brown boots. The sweater was soft, warm and hugged my body closely, looking almost sexy. I styled my curls down and for the first time in awhile I actually looked like I was trying. Why the sudden change? Simple, if I would be confronting my past might as well look good doing so, I'm just not running anymore.