Can't Let You Go

•9

Wish I could see through
See deep into you
And know what you're thinking now
And if I were to need it
I need some kind of sign
Let me know cause I can't read your mind
Are you in?
Or am I in this on my own?
I need some clue from you
Let me know babe
Do you feel me?
Do you read me?
Tell me am I gettin through to you
I wanna know
Are you with me?
Are you listenin?
Baby, is my message gettin through?
Do you feel me baby, oh babe, cuz I can feel you
: Do You Feel Me by Anthony Hamilton

Lyric P.O.V.

I woke up yawning. King had his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. This sucks. Being in love by yourself is no fun at all. I wish I could go back to the day before we met and skip my regret. Kyren was everything to me when I was 14. And he used me until he married Lauren. And even after that, when I was just sleeping with him to fill a void. I couldn't see how stupid I was until Chance came along. But at least I was being stupid in private. It doesn't matter. Stupid is stupid.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing," I shrugged.

"Lyric, we said we were gonna try, but we can't if you keep pushing me away. Let me know what's up," he told me. Tears formed in my eyes as I stared at him.

"You know how much I love you and it's fucking frustrating. It's hard. So fucking hard. To be around you without feeling a fool. I don't wanna do this no more. I don't wanna be your side chick. I want you to take me home now! Your mama doesn't even like me and why would she when you don't like me, love me or nothing. King. I don't wanna be in love by myself no more. I can't do this," I sobbed.

"Lyric stop. I'm sorry. I promise it was never in my intentions-"

"Yes it was, you bastard!" I snapped.

"No it's not. I admit. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. And I'm sorry. I wanted you and I didn't think it was you that I loved. And that's why I married her. But I made the wrong decision," he explained. I pushed him. I was about to yell at him until someone knocked on the door.

"Hey Lyric, you still taking me to school? It's like 8, but we don't have to be there until 12, just wanted to give you a heads-up," she called through her.

"Okay, I'll be ready!" I called back. Then I heard her walk away.

"What if she heard you?" He suddenly asked.

"What if somebody nappy head ass son played her the way you played me?" I asked. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"I'm sorry baby," he said. "Whatever you want. Whatever you need. Whatever your heart desires, it's yours."

And this is where I fucked up. Here I was again falling for his lies. Longing for his love. Wanting his kisses and his touch. "Um. I- um. I'm going to shower," I said getting up. I'm just gonna get my heart broken. I don't even know why I continue this with him.

I finished my shower, just as he was stepping in. I got out of there quickly. I even oiled my own body. Then I dressed myself and went out of that room. This is where I bumped into Alice, his mother.

"Excuse me," I said.

"Lyric, let me talk to you," she said. "In the kitchen." I followed her, then realized my hair was dripping wet.