Tattooed Emotions

17

Dan

16 missed calls from Philip Lester.
And 37 texts.

I'd ignored every one of them.

I needed to move on from the stupid crush of mine, and accept that it was never going to work. I was too broken, too unlikeable to be in a relationship with someone like him.

I skipped school for the next few days, lying lifelessly in bed for hours and staring up at the ceiling. I didn't care to hide the tears than ran down my face for no good reason, or the scars that littered my arms.
I needed that, but ultimately I emerged on Thursday feeling worse than ever, like someone had scooped out my insides and turned them into acidic pools of sadness.
Armed in a black hoodie, I made my way into period two of the day and taking my seat, not caring that I was late.
My sleeves were pulled up past my beat up knuckles and I huddled into myself, trying to become invisible to the class.

I didn't want attention. I just wanted to disappear.

Everyone would be happier without me.

It was near the end of the lesson that I excused myself to go to the bathroom, making my way into the empty room with my head in my hands trying to steady my racing thoughts. I could barely concentrate on physics formula, and I was slowly getting more and more frustrated at myself.

Footsteps sounded from outside, coming closer, until suddenly the bathroom door opened and I was thrust again the wall. Two hands lay firmly either side of me whilst I found myself inches away from Philip, who was staring me dead in the eyes.

"Dan, you need to listen to me." Philip started, seeming to draw closer to me with every word, "I'm really sorry for looking through your photo albums. I really am. I want this to work. You can't just give me a sense of hope and then rip it away from me because now I have you in my head, and I can't get you out. I know you don't trust me, and I wish you did, but please, please, tell me you'll give me another chance."

I don't know who started it, but I suddenly felt my lips touching his, and I found myself moving into it despite every bone in my body telling me to push him away.

When he looked at me, when he spoke to me, when he touched me, when he kissed me - I felt like everything was going to be okay. He made it better.

And all at once, the bell rang for break and Philip released me from the wall, disappearing out the bathroom as people started to flood the space, leaving my cheeks flushed and my heart pounding, and the taste of him on my lips.