Hold You Down

|XIX|

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

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.: A U G U S T:.

"August please make it stop." Mercedes sobbed as she held her stomach. I kept holding her as we sped to the hospital.

"Baybeh I can't I wish I could." She kept crying.

"Not again August . It can't happen again ,it cant." She sobbed as her voice cracked.

She was starting to get to me where I was close to crying.

She ran off to the bathroom as I heard her starting to puke.

"Ahh , oh August." She sobbed harder. I ran to the bathroom and saw she had threw up blood.

"Mercedes.." I said as I picked her up. She held onto me tightly as she continued to cry.

The bus finally stopped. I held her bridal style as I rushed off the bus, into the hospital.

"Can someone help!" I yelled out but everyone was moving, not paying attention.

"Oh my god! it's August alsina." Some girls ran up , asking for autographs . I kept saying no and not right now til they just blew me.

"Bruh you gonna go against the fuckin gra- yo I just said no. Get out my fuckin face right now." I yelled, she walked off looking crazy.

"I see why everybody say he mean." I heard one mumble, I rolled my eyes as I nurse came up to me.

"You need some help!"

"Get my girlfriend to a room now before I bust a cap in somebody ass." I spat, she got a bunch of doctors and they took her to a room.

I went with them as they hooks he up to stuff on the bed.

Then her heart meter starting speeding up.

"Yo yo!!" I yelled to them , pointing at it. They started doing a whole bunch of different stuff before they kicked me out.

"Bruhh open the damn door." I said banging on it then stop and leaned on it. This was too much.

I heard the meter go flatline and that's when my heart stopped.

"Mercedes!!!" I yelled banging on the door.

"Clear." I heard them yelling. I started pacing around this was too much, then a nurse came out.

"Sir please calm d-"

"Dont fucking try to calm me down. Did she die? Bruh don't fuck with me?" I yelled .

"No she's breathing . we're about to run some tests , just please go to the waiting room sir." She said. I shook my head as I stormed inside the waiting room.

I sat down with my head down as my leg shook.

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I had dozed off to sleep and woke up. I looked at my watch.

"It's been 7 fucking hours." I mumbled as I shifted in my chair. My leg began to shake again , all I wanted was some news ,good or bad !

Finally the nurse from earlier came In. She didnt have to say nothing, I was already behind her to go to the room.

We made it to the room and I went in and saw Mercedes staring at the wall. She wasn't crying, she wasn't talking, she wasn't even blinking, just staring.

"Mercedes.." I said low but she didnt move a inch.

"Well....she had a miscarriage. She also just had surgery." The nurse said, I looked at her.

"Surgery for what?" I asked.

"Surgery on all her reproductive organs meaning she will not get pregnant ever again." The nurse explained. I rubbed over my lower face.

"Ok ..can we be alone?" I asked, she nodded as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

"Mercedes..baybeh." I said as I walked over to her. I sat beside her on the bed but she didnt move, she had a tight grip on the cover.

"Baybeh talk to me please." I whispered.

She looked down and then back at me.

"I-I tried August. At least I tried." She whispered before her throat got dry and tears started streaming.

I grabbed her as I held her into my chest.

"Baybeh we gotta get through this togetha'. We gonna mourn togetha' ok?" I said she nodded as she pulled me down by my neck, digging her face in the crook of my neck as I felt her tears on my skin.

I tucked my lips as I held her tight and my head in the crook of her neck as my tears started streaming too.

"I'm so sorry Mercedes." She hugged me tighter as she kept crying.

"It's not your fault, it's not your fault." She pleaded.

"AUGUSTT!!!" I heard her from a far but I couldn't make out where she was. I started running out, at least meeting her halfway.

"AUGUST!!!" I heard her scream again.

"MERCEDES!!" I screamed as I kept running, it seem as if I was getting closer.

"AUGU-" but she got cut off. I ran faster and harder, trying to get to her.

"MERCEDES!!" I yelled out as I kept running but she didn't answer. I got to her block and looked around.

"Mercedes." I mumbled as I paced around , looking for her .

"MERCEDES!!" I yelled out but she didn't respond, I ran my hands through my curls.

....

Mercedes talk to me..." I said. She didn't , she only closed her eyes as tears began to stream her face. The water was ready and the bubbles were high . I picked her up, taking the sheet off her , sitting her in the tub. She looked down the whole time, maybe she was embarrassed. Didn't wanna give me eye contact. I examined her with all the bruises, hickeys and scratches upon her body.

.....

I didn't get to her quick enough. She called out for me and I didn't provide the rescue. She needed me and I wasn't there for her.

That past kept replaying in my head. This was my fault , from the very beginning

"I'm so sorry Mercedes." I whispered as I kissed her cheek and rubbed her back, staring at the wall.

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