The Silence Between Us ✓

[33] Gravel to Tempo

He walked in slowly, his shoulders hunched over - the posture I'd grown accustomed to find intimidating. I didn't now. I knew he'd come eventually after the picture and everything; It had only been a matter of time.

I know why you did it. He tried not to show it but there was a hint of recognition in his dark eyes, a small flinch that gave him away, don't pretend like you don't know what I'm saying.

"What do you want me to say?" His voice was quiet - not gentle - but it didn't have the same menace it always seemed to. It was over, and we both knew it "How do you know?"

Your brother. I didn't realistically have to say anything else - it was obvious from there. They had the same jaw I decided, the same sharp nose. I knew as soon as I'd seen Alex that he looked strangely familiar but it wasn't until Elliot said his last name that it has clicked into place.

"Wow you worked it out, so what? You're just going to tell me what I already know?" He said it all sarcastically, but not his usual way - it was almost like he'd given up on his act. "I know I'm fucked up ok? Happy now?"

But why? Why did you decide to hit me whenever you felt like it? I could only contain my anger - knowing it wouldn't completely dissipate before I finally had the answer.

"I thought you were supposed to be clever." His voice remained low and calm and had a sort of melancholy tone to it that I couldn't fully understand. "Mrs Porter - why else? She knew about me and thought about how amazing it would be to make us best friends since we can both sign."

So why didn't you do it?

"You must know better than anyone why - people only like other people that fit in. If we became friends I would have had to explain to everyone why I could sign. I couldn't risk the humiliation from everyone else if that happened."

So you punched me to keep me quiet?

"You could look at it that way." He shrugged. "I don't see why you care so much."

Maybe because you made my life a living hell for the past year?! My anger wasn't contained and the movements were sharp and emphasised.

"Do you know how hard it is for me? To watch everyone call you a freak knowing that they could turn on me at any moment if they found out? To know that every single person I call a friend would easily take the piss out of me if they knew that I had a deaf brother?" I watched him rant with unblinking eyes. "And I know that what I did was fucked up but you're not the only victim in this fucking school ok?"

Ok. It felt like the only viable response. Everything I had ever thought about Harrison had been completely wrong and yet it all seemed to make sense. I didn't know how to feel anymore. He would never be justified for what he did - I would never forgive him, and his excuse would never be valid - but at least I had some form of explanation now. Closure that allowed me to be able to do what I should have done right at the start.

"Well I guess this is goodbye." He said, looking me straight in the face before leaving swiftly. And then he was gone. I didn't guess at how he knew what I was going to do because it turned out that I didn't know anything about him in the end.

XXX

The bell went and I had a spike of adrenaline again as I thought about what I was going to do at lunch. Everything that was going to happen. It was scary whenever I thought about the monstrously massive task in front of me but at the same time I knew it had to be worth it, knew it had to count for something. I just hadn't quite figured out the logistics of it all just yet.