The Silence Between Us ✓

[6] Fly

Olivia knelt down beside the pool in despair. Why was this so difficult? After all, her mother told her it would be easy – that the quest would be finished with the click of her fingers. So why hadn't it gone that way? She knew and yet didn't understand how she did. It was complicated and she wondered why she couldn't just escape into the water and disappear completely. She knew that that was what most people wanted – for her to leave – but she refused, and she didn't know why. Why was she still going continuing with the whole thing if it was such a waste of time?
She heard a noise from the bushes and looked up at the stars. She should get moving, she knew she did, but she also knew that moving would mean so much more pain that she had now. A racoon passed her, vaguely showing its sharp teeth as it made its way back to another bush. She gazed at it, thinking about whether it had a family to go back to or it too had no one. It almost raised anger in her as another one showed itself in the same bush. Why was she the only one? Why was she not like everyone else? The most prevalent question by far, though, was why was she jealous of a racoon? Especially here, where they hunted them out for the ritual feasts.

In some ways, I didn't know where it all came from. The words poured out of my pen like they were someone else's, and yet they seemed to be saying everything I did every day. I doubted that Noah would read them like I did, and he would probably never make the link, but it comforted me to know that he might. That whilst scanning the page he might actually get a hint of my distant world.

I sent them and he replied immediately:

Not going to lie you've left too many questions
?
You've left me to think about so much.
I mean, what is the quest? Why is Olivia alone? Why is she randomly by some random water?
1) Don't treat it as random
2) These questions are for you to answer as my English partner
Pretty sure that's a copout but ok
You can genuinely make it how you want it – you could put dragons in it for all I care
You watch Game of Thrones?
You do?
Yeah I'm honestly kind of obsessed at the moment
My best friend's exactly the same! He's always talking to me about how amazing it is
Ok, can I ask you a question?
And you can't get mad or think I'm really stupid for asking it?
Sure...?
So the thing is you don't talk right so how do you talk to your best friend?
Sorry that sounds really bad
It's fine! Sign language
Wait really?
Yup – he's deaf and I can't speak so we pretty much became best friends straight away
You can't speak? How come?
It's a long story.

I don't know why I decided not to tell him at this point. I just knew he'd make it into a big deal like anyone that knew why I couldn't speak. I didn't need that, all I wanted to do was pass English and making friends with my partner without any sympathy complexes seemed like the best way. It would all get too complicated if I told him.

So anyway are you going to tell me what you're going to do in the next part?
I don't know what I'm going to do to be honest
I'm seriously thinking of putting dragons in though, but I don't know if it'll look like I'm copying
look who's starting to care about their grades?
Who said I didn't in the first place?
Ok actually I don't want you to answer that – I care about passing English because you care about passing English and not putting effort in seems pretty selfish
:)

The more I started talking to Noah, the more my brain blocked out the nasty things he said before the coursework. I didn't know if it was a good thing, or me being naïve but I didn't care. I'd finally made a friend at school, and, yes, I knew that he wouldn't ever talk to me there for Harrison Taylor issues, but it didn't take away from the fact I'd finally fulfilled my mum's wish.

"Why are you smiling so much?" Theo brought me out of my Noah filled daze and I looked up at him. I forgot I was in the living room.

Nothing! I signed back at him making a face. Luckily, when I went mute, my brother and my mum both learnt sign language so I could communicate with them. My father tried but... it's a complicated story for another time.

"It doesn't look like nothing! Come on, who are you texting?" He chose this moment to be nosy? Why can't he just go back to his Xbox?

Leave me alone! I'm not texting anyone!

"Is it your BOYFRIEND?" He asked loudly and I made another face. He could be so annoying sometimes, but I can't deny that we were close. He always brought up the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend like how he was always teasing me because he was three years younger but already a head above me. It was so unfair sometimes.

How's Phoebe? I replied; she's the girl that he liked but never admitted to liking.

"Shut your face!"

Shut yours!

"I don't like Phoebe!"

Of course you don't! I signed back with a smile.

"Ok – fine – but tell me who you were texting!"

Why are you so concerned?

"Because I'm your kind caring brother obviously!" He made a face and I laughed silently

Ok... I finally signed drum roll please...

"Get on with it!" He did what I asked at least, hitting his hands on his thighs. I could tell he was genuinely curious.

Ok, here goes, I was texting... my partner for the English coursework! I laughed again at his disappointed face

"Seriously?" He was properly annoyed with that, which made me smile slightly more. What did he think I would say? My boyfriend? "You're so disappointing sometimes!"

I know; he's just a normal guy that I have to do a project with.

"He's a he?" Theo exclaimed just as my mum came in "Mum guess what?"

My mum looked pretty shocked at the news – she's one of those people who thought that despite the fact I couldn't speak I could do anything I wanted to. "What's this?"

"Via has a MALE English coursework partner – and she was smiling while texting him!"

Sometimes I wondered if it was a good thing that my family cared so much about me or thought that I could have proper relationships with people who weren't Elliot. Why couldn't they understand that I was never going to have a boyfriend unless he could sign? I thought back to Noah – we could only communicate by text; what kind of relationship was that?

"Theo – leave your sister alone! We can just as easily start talking about Phoebe!" My mum replied when she saw my embarrassed face. I was glad that she wasn't that delusional. "But apart from that – how's school going?"

It was always the same question. I knew what she wanted to hear; that I was the perfect daughter at high school and had tons of friends that loved hanging out despite the fact that I can't speak, and everyone loved me. She just didn't understand that it wasn't at all practical – it could never happen because every conversation would be a nightmare and people would give up. I realised that as soon as I got there, and it's really not changed. I didn't even know if my friendship with Noah would change any of my views.

Fine. It was my usual response and as always, my mum left it there. I couldn't miss the disappointed glance she gave me though. I didn't want to tell her anything because I know what a big deal, she would make it – my first school friend – how patronising she would be because, like everyone else, she thought I was fragile because I can't shout.

Something about having to keep so much to myself seemed to resonate with everything I did, and I couldn't say that at times it was lonely, but that was just the way it was, and I couldn't change that. I couldn't control anything that went on in my life, I couldn't control how people chose to speak to me, how I was treated, how hard my life was because of the fact I can't reply. Most of the time, I allowed this to occur – maybe because nobody but Elliot and my family cared about me, I didn't really care for myself either. I hated it when Mr Harold would ignore me or when I felt helpless, but I don't know, I didn't care about it too much. I thought of myself as a small non-speaking role in the massive plays that featured everyone else as the main characters. I didn't matter in the grand scheme of things, so why should I try and change that?